Let’s Bring Back The Handshake

Like most guys, some of the best times of my life began and ended with a handshake. Playing football, a round of golf, or just hanging out with a group of my buddies around a table covered with good food and drink. 

Then there’s the other times when a handshake reminds me of the crappy stuff that has happened in my life. Like the time a guy screwed me in a business deal or reneged on a promise. It’s even worse when I had shaken the man’s hand. Why? Their behavior is a betrayal of the gentleman’s honor code that says a man’s handshake is his word. 

A handshake is the foundation of every gentleman’s friendship and business deals. The reason a handshake is so important is it reveals information about a man’s character and his true intentions that you can’t get any other way.

A firm handshake combined with steady eye contact indicates a gentleman who will do everything in his power to win the game, but regardless of the outcome, will stick out his hand and say, “Good game” when it’s over.

The flipside is a weak or clammy handshake, combined with a lack of eye contact, is a signal you’re dealing with someone who is more boy than man. And most boys haven’t learned the importance of keeping their word. 

That’s why every gentleman must learn how to use a handshake to size up another man or he’s going to waste a lot of his life dealing with broken promises made by boys.

I also think a handshake is superior to a fist bump for a couple of reasons. One is it can happen with no face-to-face contact and second you don’t get to test the grip of man like in a handshake.

That’s why I think young men need to learn how to shake hands early on. 

Author Andy Andrews tells the story of how he asked his group of close friends to shake hands with his two sons when they were young instead of fist bumps or high fives. Andy knew it was a critical part of their journey to manhood. The boys were learning how to interact with and talk to men. 

I was confirming this story with a mutual friend and she confirmed the story was true and Andy’s son’s have turned out to be fine young men. They look you in the eye when they shake your hand.  

Let’s follow Andy’s lead and start shaking hands with every guy you meet, even if he can barely walk. 

Handshake rules: 

1. A gentleman will always initiate the handshake when meeting a man for the first time. 

2. A handshake is not a contest to see who can squeeze the hardest! 

One final story about the power of a handshake. 

I had a guy named Charlie Monk on my podcast years ago. People in Nashville called him the Mayor of Music Row because he was the king of networking. I asked him how he got to know so many people and he said he had a rule that he wouldn’t leave an event until he had shaken every person’s hand. That’s how met and signed artists like Randy Travis and Kenny Chesney without ever having a business card.

The next time you meet a guy, pass on the fist bump and shake his hand like a man.