<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><rss xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" version="2.0" xmlns:itunes="http://www.itunes.com/dtds/podcast-1.0.dtd" xmlns:googleplay="http://www.google.com/schemas/play-podcasts/1.0"><channel><title><![CDATA[Dee Lauderdale]]></title><description><![CDATA[I coach men to become the best version of themselves ]]></description><link>https://www.deelauderdale.com</link><image><url>https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!2ztz!,w_256,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F3e7fd7db-5c67-4ca9-98a3-e857b5daade7_67x67.png</url><title>Dee Lauderdale</title><link>https://www.deelauderdale.com</link></image><generator>Substack</generator><lastBuildDate>Wed, 07 Oct 2026 22:05:59 GMT</lastBuildDate><atom:link href="https://www.deelauderdale.com/feed" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml"/><copyright><![CDATA[72 East LLC]]></copyright><language><![CDATA[en]]></language><webMaster><![CDATA[deelauderdale@substack.com]]></webMaster><itunes:owner><itunes:email><![CDATA[deelauderdale@substack.com]]></itunes:email><itunes:name><![CDATA[Dee Lauderdale]]></itunes:name></itunes:owner><itunes:author><![CDATA[Dee Lauderdale]]></itunes:author><googleplay:owner><![CDATA[deelauderdale@substack.com]]></googleplay:owner><googleplay:email><![CDATA[deelauderdale@substack.com]]></googleplay:email><googleplay:author><![CDATA[Dee Lauderdale]]></googleplay:author><itunes:block><![CDATA[Yes]]></itunes:block><item><title><![CDATA[#34- Modern Proverbs for Men]]></title><description><![CDATA[I&#8217;ve been struggling all week with what to write about but my schedule has been a little nuts.]]></description><link>https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/34-modern-proverbs-for-men</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/34-modern-proverbs-for-men</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Dee Lauderdale]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Sun, 04 Oct 2026 20:09:22 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!gqCP!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2ff1421c-22d8-448e-8cef-751d4e0fa05d_768x1024.jpeg" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!gqCP!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2ff1421c-22d8-448e-8cef-751d4e0fa05d_768x1024.jpeg" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!gqCP!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2ff1421c-22d8-448e-8cef-751d4e0fa05d_768x1024.jpeg 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!gqCP!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2ff1421c-22d8-448e-8cef-751d4e0fa05d_768x1024.jpeg 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!gqCP!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2ff1421c-22d8-448e-8cef-751d4e0fa05d_768x1024.jpeg 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!gqCP!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2ff1421c-22d8-448e-8cef-751d4e0fa05d_768x1024.jpeg 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img 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srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!gqCP!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2ff1421c-22d8-448e-8cef-751d4e0fa05d_768x1024.jpeg 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!gqCP!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2ff1421c-22d8-448e-8cef-751d4e0fa05d_768x1024.jpeg 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!gqCP!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2ff1421c-22d8-448e-8cef-751d4e0fa05d_768x1024.jpeg 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!gqCP!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2ff1421c-22d8-448e-8cef-751d4e0fa05d_768x1024.jpeg 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image buttonBase-GK1x3M"><svg aria-hidden="true" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" class="icon-noB79L"><g><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image buttonBase-GK1x3M"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2 icon-noB79L"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><p></p><p>I&#8217;ve been struggling all week with what to write about but my schedule has been a little nuts. This past week was my 62nd birthday so there were family get-togethers and dinners out, which I loved but took away from writing time. I had no real luck at the coffee shop this morning so I came back to work in my office hoping a change of scenery would help. But nothing was working.</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/34-modern-proverbs-for-men?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/34-modern-proverbs-for-men?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share"><span>Share</span></a></p><p>Then I went back through a long list of Man Skills I keep to share with guys. These range from how-to directions to what is best described as modern proverbs for men. These are part of the wisdom I&#8217;ve collected over 62 years and I know they work so I decided to share a few of my favorites.</p><ol><li><p>Luck is when opportunity collides with preparation.</p></li><li><p>Just because you can doesn&#8217;t mean you should.</p></li><li><p>Always verify, never assume.</p></li><li><p>If it&#8217;s important, write it down,</p></li><li><p>Manners will take you places money can&#8217;t.</p></li><li><p>You will never change your life until you change what you do on a daily basis</p></li><li><p>Truth is never dependent on a consensus of opinion</p></li><li><p>Wise men welcome correction</p></li><li><p>Never invest in something you don&#8217;t understand</p></li><li><p>Remember this when dealing with haters, there are some people you don&#8217;t want to like you.</p></li><li><p>Do you want to be remembered for the problems you solved or the ones you created?</p></li><li><p>I am not a product of my circumstances, I am a product of my decisions</p></li><li><p>When someone gets something for nothing, someone else gets nothing for something</p></li><li><p>The more skills you have the more employable you are.</p></li></ol><p>And lastly, one for you to think about this week:</p><p><strong>There will come a day when you&#8217;ll have to prove you are the man you think you are. Will you be ready?</strong></p><p>Good luck guys! Use these to help you become the best version of yourself.</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.deelauderdale.com/?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share Dee Lauderdale&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.deelauderdale.com/?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share"><span>Share Dee Lauderdale</span></a></p><div><hr></div><p style="text-align: center;"><strong>Proverbs for the Modern Man</strong></p><p>&#8220;A wise person is hungry for knowledge, while the fool feeds on trash.&#8221; Proverbs 15:14</p>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[#32-These 5 Fears Keep Too Many Men On The Sidelines]]></title><description><![CDATA[Don&#8217;t get mad at me, guys, but I&#8217;m going to say out loud what men are really afraid of.]]></description><link>https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/32-these-5-fears-keep-too-many-men</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/32-these-5-fears-keep-too-many-men</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Dee Lauderdale]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Wed, 30 Sep 2026 20:55:13 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!azNz!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F00a89781-ee2c-4ecb-8bfa-e76909748209_1086x724.jpeg" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="image-gallery-embed" data-attrs="{&quot;gallery&quot;:{&quot;images&quot;:[{&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/00a89781-ee2c-4ecb-8bfa-e76909748209_1086x724.jpeg&quot;}],&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;alt&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;staticGalleryImage&quot;:{&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/00a89781-ee2c-4ecb-8bfa-e76909748209_1086x724.jpeg&quot;}},&quot;isEditorNode&quot;:true}"></div><p></p><p>Don&#8217;t get mad at me, guys, but I&#8217;m going to say out loud what men are really afraid of.</p><p>These are the things that keep us up at night and hold us back from becoming the man we know we could be.</p><p>Why say it out loud? Because the first step to conquering any fear is facing it.</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/32-these-5-fears-keep-too-many-men?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/32-these-5-fears-keep-too-many-men?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share"><span>Share</span></a></p><p>So consider this the first step.</p><p>I&#8217;ve coached men for a long time, and I believe these are the five biggest fears most men have:</p><ol><li><p>Losing the respect of the people I care about</p></li><li><p>Looking foolish in public</p></li><li><p>Being exposed as an imposter</p></li><li><p>Not being good enough when it matters most</p></li><li><p>Growing old and realizing I wasted my life</p></li></ol><p>These fears aren&#8217;t random. They all connect to what most men deeply want: respect, courage, authenticity, excellence, and purpose.</p><p>That&#8217;s why you won&#8217;t become the man you want to be by avoiding these fears. You become that man by facing them.</p><h4>1. Losing the respect of the people I care about</h4><p>I think this may be the greatest fear most men have.</p><p>Some may not say it out loud, but they live like it&#8217;s true. A man wants to be seen as capable, dependable, and strong. So he fears disappointing the people he loves. He fears seeing that look of disappointment on their faces if he fails.</p><p>But that&#8217;s the wrong mindset.</p><p>Real respect is not built on never failing. It&#8217;s built on how you respond when you do fail. Lasting respect comes when you get back up, keep your word, and live with integrity. When you are the same man in private that you are in public.</p><p>Live that way, and the people who matter will respect you more, not less.</p><h4>2. Looking foolish in public</h4><p>This fear has exploded in the age of Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok,</p><p>A man used to risk embarrassment in front of a few people when he tried something new. Now he risks it in front of what feels like the whole world. That&#8217;s why so many men stay on the sidelines instead of taking the risk.</p><p>But here&#8217;s the truth: you&#8217;d be hard-pressed to find a man who achieved anything meaningful without risking looking foolish.</p><p>Elon Musk&#8217;s early rocket launches failed publicly. Steve Jobs believed people would buy a smartphone without a physical keyboard when the best selling smartphone at the time was popular because it had a physical keyboard.</p><p>If you want to grow your life, abilities, or bank account you have to get comfortable with risk.</p><p>So, try the new thing; Ask her out. Speak up with your idea in a meeting. Get on the dance floor at the wedding.</p><p>The world is often kinder than you think. And even when it isn&#8217;t, breaking free from a fear is worth the risk.</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://deelauderdale.substack.com/?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_content=share&amp;action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share Dee Lauderdale&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://deelauderdale.substack.com/?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_content=share&amp;action=share"><span>Share Dee Lauderdale</span></a></p><h4>3. Being exposed as an imposter</h4><p>This fear sounds like this:</p><p>&#8220;I don&#8217;t deserve this.&#8221;<br>&#8220;Sooner or later, someone is going to find out.&#8221;</p><p>What&#8217;s interesting is this fear often gets louder when you win. You got the promotion. You had the big success. You finally got the opportunity you wanted.</p><p>Then, boom, you feel like a fraud.</p><p>So how do you fight it?</p><p>With facts.</p><p>Make an honest list of:</p><ul><li><p>your wins</p></li><li><p>the obstacles you&#8217;ve overcome</p></li><li><p>the work you&#8217;ve done to earn your place</p></li></ul><p>Then tell yourself the truth: you earned this. You are not a fraud.</p><p>And then tell that lying voice to shut up.</p><h4>4. Not being good enough when it matters</h4><p>This is performance anxiety at its core.</p><p>When the moment comes, will you be ready? Will you rise to the occasion or choke?</p><p>There&#8217;s only one real answer to overcoming this fear: prepare.</p><p>Rehearse. Train. Study. Do the work before the pressure arrives. Be a student of what Nick Saban calls &#8220;the process.&#8221; Focus on preparation instead of obsessing over the outcome.</p><p>I&#8217;ve got a friend named Matt who is a professional keyboard player. One day I told him I heard that amateurs practice until they get it right but pros practice until they can&#8217;t get it wrong. This sounded revolutionary to me, but he said of course. That&#8217;s why he can play at the White House, on a stage in front of thousands or in his local church without fear. A bonus is because he&#8217;s practiced so much, he can enjoy the moment.</p><p>When you prepare, you walk into big moments with a different kind of calm.</p><p>Confidence is not magic. It&#8217;s the result of preparation.</p><h4>5. Growing old and realizing I wasted my life</h4><p>Now it&#8217;s my turn to be transparent.</p><p>At 61, this is the fear I feel most.</p><p>I&#8217;m more aware than ever that time is the one thing we cannot buy, borrow, or steal more of. And my share of it is getting smaller.</p><p>But I&#8217;ve also learned that this fear can be a gift.</p><p>It reminds me to live now. To stop drifting. To stop postponing what matters.</p><p>A good practice is to decide what a life well lived looks like for you. Then start doing the things that move you toward that life and stop doing the things that don&#8217;t.</p><h4>Final thought</h4><p>First, the bad news: these fears never fully go away.</p><p>Now the good news.</p><p>John Wayne said, &#8220;Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway.&#8221;</p><p>That&#8217;s the call.</p><p>When you move forward in spite of fear, you keep the respect of those who matter, you stop being ruled by fear of embarrassment, you know you&#8217;ve earned your place, you show up when it counts, and you build a life that is anything but wasted.</p><div><hr></div><h4 style="text-align: center;"><strong>Proverbs for the Modern Man</strong></h4><p style="text-align: center;">If you fail under pressure, your strength is too small. Proverbs 24:10 (NLT)</p><div><hr></div><h4 style="text-align: center;"><strong>Man Law</strong></h4><p style="text-align: center;">Don&#8217;t wait. Life goes faster than you think.</p><p></p><div class="subscription-widget-wrap-editor" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.deelauderdale.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe&quot;,&quot;language&quot;:&quot;en&quot;}" data-component-name="SubscribeWidgetToDOM"><div class="subscription-widget show-subscribe"><div class="preamble"><p class="cta-caption">Thanks for reading! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.</p></div><form class="subscription-widget-subscribe"><input type="email" class="email-input" name="email" placeholder="Type your email&#8230;" tabindex="-1"><input type="submit" class="button primary" value="Subscribe"><div class="fake-input-wrapper"><div class="fake-input"></div><div class="fake-button"></div></div></form></div></div>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[#31- 2,612 Notes and the One I’ll Never Delete]]></title><description><![CDATA[Hi, my name is Dee and I&#8217;m a digital packrat.]]></description><link>https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/31-2612-notes-and-the-one-ill-never</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/31-2612-notes-and-the-one-ill-never</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Dee Lauderdale]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Wed, 30 Sep 2026 20:53:20 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!i-kD!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd3eec72b-d35a-41c1-bec3-01edd17dc1bb_582x280.png" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="image-gallery-embed" data-attrs="{&quot;gallery&quot;:{&quot;images&quot;:[{&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/png&quot;,&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/d3eec72b-d35a-41c1-bec3-01edd17dc1bb_582x280.png&quot;}],&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;alt&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;staticGalleryImage&quot;:{&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/png&quot;,&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/d3eec72b-d35a-41c1-bec3-01edd17dc1bb_582x280.png&quot;}},&quot;isEditorNode&quot;:true}"></div><p></p><p>Hi, my name is Dee and I&#8217;m a digital packrat.</p><p>It&#8217;s true. As of today I have 2,612 entries in Apple Notes. I keep every joke, story, bit of wisdom and teaching I run across. That&#8217;s a big number but it&#8217;s not the biggest it&#8217;s been, I topped out at over 4,500. That&#8217;s when I realized I had a problem and spent a lot of time deleting notes. It was tough because every time I hit &#8220;delete&#8221; I had a small anxiety attack that I had just deleted the secret to world peace and generational wealth.</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/31-2612-notes-and-the-one-ill-never?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/31-2612-notes-and-the-one-ill-never?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share"><span>Share</span></a></p><p></p><p>I know that sounds nuts but it proves I have a problem!</p><p>But not every note I have is junk.</p><p>For this teaching I want to share the contents of the most important note on my phone. It&#8217;s a list of scriptures that help me live out the life Jesus modeled and God planned for me.</p><p>Whenever I get in a funk or find myself out of sorts, I read this list and without fail one of them shines like a flashlight in a dark room on what&#8217;s really going on with me&#8221;</p><p><strong>What would happen if a man actually lived this way?</strong></p><p>Would following these principles make you weaker or stronger? Would they make you a better man?</p><p>If you can honestly look at what is taught in the Scriptures and say, &#8220;There&#8217;s no way I want to live like that,&#8221; fair enough. But if you find yourself thinking, &#8220;You know what? There&#8217;s actually something here&#8221;<em>,</em> then maybe it&#8217;s worth digging deeper.</p><p>And if you already follow Jesus, ask yourself another question: Do you have a list of verses that you can turn to when life gets messy?</p><p>If you don&#8217;t, feel free to use mine as a starting point. Build your own list. Find the Scriptures that challenge you, encourage you, correct you, and remind you what kind of man you want to be.</p><p>Because those are the words worth keeping.</p><p style="text-align: center;"><strong>Scriptures</strong></p><p>This I know: God is on my side! Psalm 56:9</p><p>Now all glory to God, who is able, through His mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Ephesians 3:20</p><p>Just as the rich rule the poor, so the borrower is servant to the lender. Proverbs 22:7 NLT</p><p>First, help me never to tell a lie. Second, give me neither poverty nor riches! Give me just enough to satisfy my needs. For if I grow rich, I may deny you and say, &#8220;Who is the Lord ?&#8221; And if I am too poor, I may steal and thus insult God&#8217;s holy name. Proverbs 30:8-9 NLT</p><p>Sensible people control their temper; they earn respect by overlooking wrongs. Proverbs 19:11 NLT</p><p>The first to speak in court sounds right-until the cross-examination begins. Proverbs 18:17</p><p>It is good for workers to have an appetite; an empty stomach drives them on. Proverbs 16:26 NLT</p><p>Make it your goal to live a quiet life, minding your own business and working with your hands, just as we instructed you before. 1 Thessalonians 4:11 NLT</p><p>Fearing people is a dangerous trap, but trusting the Lord means safety. Proverbs 29:25</p><p>The tongue of the wise makes knowledge appealing... Proverbs 15:2</p><p>The thief&#8217;s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.</p><p>John 10:10 NLT</p><p>Wise people think before they act; fools don&#8217;t&#8212;and even brag about their foolishness. Proverbs 13:16</p><p>Let someone else praise you, not your mouth-a stranger, not your own lips. Proverbs 27:2</p><p>Watch your tongue and keep your mouth shut, and you will stay out of trouble. Proverbs 21:23 NLT</p><p>I thought, &#8216;Age should speak; advanced years should teach wisdom.&#8217; Job 32:7 NIV</p><p>The Lord says, &#8220;I will guide you along<strong> the best pathway for your life.</strong> I will advise you and watch over you.&#8221; Psalms 32:8 NLT</p><p>This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It&#8217;s adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike &#8220;What&#8217;s next, Papa?&#8221; Romans 8:15-17 (The Message)</p><p>Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do. This is my command&#8212;be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.</p><p>Joshua 1:8-9 NLT</p><p>Don&#8217;t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God&#8217;s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.  Romans 12:2 NLT</p><p>Don&#8217;t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You&#8217;ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you. Romans 12:2 (The Message)</p><p>If you keep yourself pure, you will be a special utensil for honorable use. Your life will be clean, and you will be ready for the Master to use you for every good work.  2 Timothy 2:1 NLT</p><p>Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts.  2 Timothy 2:22 NLT</p><p>I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should do. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified. 1 Corinthians 9:27</p><p> 2 I will be careful to live a blameless life&#8212;......</p><p>   I will lead a life of integrity</p><p>      in my own home.</p><p> 3 I will refuse to look at</p><p>      anything vile and vulgar.</p><p>   I hate all who deal crookedly;</p><p>I will have nothing to do with them.</p><p> 4 I will reject perverse ideas</p><p>   and stay away from every evil.</p><p> 5 I will not tolerate people who slander their neighbors.</p><p> I will not endure conceit and pride.</p><p> 6 I will search for faithful people to be my companions.</p><p>Only those who are above reproach will be allowed to serve me.</p><p> 7 I will not allow deceivers to serve in my house, and liars will not stay in my presence.</p><p>8 My daily task will be to ferret out the wicked and free the city of the Lord from their grip.</p><p>Psalm 101:2-8</p><p>If you think you are standing strong, be careful not to fall.  The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure. 1 Corinthians 10:12-13</p><p>I made a covenant with my eyes not to look with lust at a young woman. Job 31:1</p><p>For the world offers only a craving for physical pleasure, a craving for everything we see, and pride in our achievements and possessions. These are not from the Father, but are from this world.&#8221; 1 John 2:16</p><p>Obscene stories, foolish talk, and coarse jokes&#8212;these are not for you. Instead, let there be thankfulness to God.  Ephesians 5:4</p><p>No, O people, the Lord has told you what is good, and this is what he requires of you: to do what is right, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God. Micah 6:8 NLT</p><p>Jesus, undeterred, went right ahead and gave his charge: &#8220;God authorized and commanded me to commission you: Go out and train everyone you meet, far and near, in this way of life, marking them by baptism in the threefold name: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Then instruct them in the practice of all I have commanded you. I&#8217;ll be with you as you do this.  Matthew 28:18-20</p><p>Now teach these truths to other trustworthy people who will be able to pass them on to others.</p><p>2 Timothy 2:2</p><p>Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. James 1:19 NLT</p><p></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.deelauderdale.com/?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share Dee Lauderdale&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.deelauderdale.com/?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share"><span>Share Dee Lauderdale</span></a></p><p></p><div><hr></div><h4 style="text-align: center;"><strong>Proverbs for the Modern Man</strong></h4><p style="text-align: center;"> Get the truth and never sell it; also get wisdom, discipline, and good judgment. Proverbs 23:23</p><div><hr></div><h4 style="text-align: center;"><strong>Man Law</strong></h4><p style="text-align: center;">God Has Your Best Interest At Heart.</p><div class="subscription-widget-wrap-editor" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.deelauderdale.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe&quot;,&quot;language&quot;:&quot;en&quot;}" data-component-name="SubscribeWidgetToDOM"><div class="subscription-widget show-subscribe"><div class="preamble"><p class="cta-caption">Thanks for reading! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.</p></div><form class="subscription-widget-subscribe"><input type="email" class="email-input" name="email" placeholder="Type your email&#8230;" tabindex="-1"><input type="submit" class="button primary" value="Subscribe"><div class="fake-input-wrapper"><div class="fake-input"></div><div class="fake-button"></div></div></form></div></div>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[#30-You’re Not Always Right, I’m Not Always Wrong]]></title><description><![CDATA[There are a lot of differences between men and women and those differences shape how we see, interpret, and respond to the same situation]]></description><link>https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/30-youre-not-always-right-im-not</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/30-youre-not-always-right-im-not</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Dee Lauderdale]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Wed, 30 Sep 2026 20:52:18 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/youtube/w_728,c_limit/DXzj2FjkQh4" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>There are a lot of differences between men and women and those differences shape how we see, interpret, and respond to the same situation</p><p>I had a great example of that recently when a woman at work recently told me &#8220;Top Gun&#8221; was a love story between Maverick and Iceman. Every man in the room immediately disagreed.</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/30-youre-not-always-right-im-not?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/30-youre-not-always-right-im-not?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share"><span>Share</span></a></p><p></p><p>The reason she said it was because there is a difference between how she is pre-wired to see relationships and how I&#8217;m pre-wired to see relationships.</p><p>I see two rivals who earned each other&#8217;s respect through performance and competence. Which doesn&#8217;t mean they were suddenly besties.</p><p>Fellows, you and your wife, girlfriend, sister are not the same.</p><p>Husbands and wives usually see the same problem differently, and hear the same words differently</p><p>One wants to solve an issue immediately but the other needs time to process what is happening.</p><p>One speaks directly using a few words while the other talks about every possible nuance using lots of words.</p><p>One measures the love of the other person through actions but the other looks for attention.</p><p>And that is why marriage is hard.</p><p>We shouldn&#8217;t automatically treat our differences like evidence that something is wrong with the marriage. Sometimes, nothing is wrong, it&#8217;s just two different people who are simply learning how to build <strong>one life together.</strong></p><p>That&#8217;s why a successful marriage requires a husband to remember your wife isn&#8217;t your opponent; she&#8217;s your teammate.</p><p>That means a husband learns that leading does not always mean taking control; sometimes it means listening longer, speaking softer, and admitting when he is wrong.</p><p>A wife learns that being heard does not always mean &#8220;winning&#8221;, sometimes it means trusting, yielding on some matters, and speaking truth with grace.</p><p>The differences between husbands and wives aren&#8217;t a problem to be solved. They are meant to be strengths.</p><p>One partner is impulsive, the other is steady.</p><p>One partner is anxious, the other is calm.</p><p>When one partner sees risk, the other sees possibility.</p><p>When one is tired and ready to give up, the other talks about hope.</p><p>A marriage is strongest when what one partner lacks is supplied by the other partner. Just because it&#8217;s a strength of one partner doesn&#8217;t mean that it&#8217;s a weakness of the other.</p><p>Marriage is not just about passion, it is about coordination. It is about asking and again, how do we move forward without moving apart?</p><p>The answer is to remember the person across from you is not the enemy, but your partner.</p><p>Husbands and wives differ and that will not change. Two people do not need to become the same to become united. They simply need to keep choosing to believe the best about each other, especially when the road is difficult.</p><div><hr></div><h4 style="text-align: center;"><strong>Proverbs for the Modern Man</strong></h4><h4>Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies. Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. Proverbs 31:10&#8211;11</h4><div><hr></div><h4 style="text-align: center;"><strong>Man Laws</strong></h4><p style="text-align: center;">You learn a lot about a man when he doesn&#8217;t get what he wants</p><p></p><p></p><p>PS</p><p>The idea for this column came from a song recorded by the Zac Brown Band titled &#8220;Trying to Drive&#8221;. The lyrics are powerful and there&#8217;s a link to the song at the end.</p><p>You know I&#8217;m not right</p><p>If I&#8217;m not right with you</p><p>And no one can make me feel like you do</p><p>I&#8217;ll be the one that laid my heart down on the line</p><p>So come and save me darling</p><p>Love me one more</p><p>&#8216;Cause you&#8217;re not always right</p><p>And I&#8217;m not always wrong</p><p>It&#8217;s not like I don&#8217;t try</p><p>This is where we belong</p><p>One way, everything&#8217;s gonna be away</p><p>But darling I&#8217;m on your side</p><p>&#8216;Cause it&#8217;s one wheel, four hands, two hearts trying to understand</p><p>How we gonna to get there?</p><p>We&#8217;re both trying to drive</p><p>We&#8217;re both trying to drive</p><p>You might be right</p><p>And I&#8217;m out of touch</p><p>I guess everything I have to give</p><p>Just ain&#8217;t enough</p><p>I&#8217;m trying to make the most</p><p>I know what it&#8217;s not</p><p>&#8216;Cause darling I can give you something I got</p><p>&#8216;Cause you&#8217;re not always right</p><p>I&#8217;m not always wrong</p><p>It&#8217;s not like I don&#8217;t try</p><p>This is where we belong</p><p>One way, everything&#8217;s gonna be away</p><p>But darling I&#8217;m on your side</p><p>One wheel, four hands, two hearts trying to understand</p><p>How we gonna to get there?</p><p>We&#8217;re both trying to drive</p><p>I can feel it under my seat</p><p>On the sideline of my life</p><p>Watch the rain fall to the ground</p><p>To the beat of the same old fight</p><p>Every song is brewing this war</p><p>When we find ourselves</p><p>In the mix of it, give a little bit</p><p>And we&#8217;ll fly fly, fly</p><p>One way, everything&#8217;s gonna be away</p><p>But darling, darling I&#8217;m on your side</p><p>One wheel, four hands, two hearts trying to understand</p><p>How we gonna to get there?</p><p>One wheel, four hands, two hearts trying to understand</p><p>How we gonna to get there?</p><p>We&#8217;re both trying to drive</p><p>Trying to drive</p><div id="youtube2-DXzj2FjkQh4" class="youtube-wrap" data-attrs="{&quot;videoId&quot;:&quot;DXzj2FjkQh4&quot;,&quot;startTime&quot;:null,&quot;endTime&quot;:null}" data-component-name="Youtube2ToDOM"><div class="youtube-inner"><iframe src="https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/DXzj2FjkQh4?rel=0&amp;autoplay=0&amp;showinfo=0&amp;enablejsapi=0" frameborder="0" loading="lazy" gesture="media" allow="autoplay; fullscreen" allowautoplay="true" allowfullscreen="true" width="728" height="409"></iframe></div></div><h4 style="text-align: center;"></h4><div class="subscription-widget-wrap-editor" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.deelauderdale.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe&quot;,&quot;language&quot;:&quot;en&quot;}" data-component-name="SubscribeWidgetToDOM"><div class="subscription-widget show-subscribe"><div class="preamble"><p class="cta-caption">Thanks for reading! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.</p></div><form class="subscription-widget-subscribe"><input type="email" class="email-input" name="email" placeholder="Type your email&#8230;" tabindex="-1"><input type="submit" class="button primary" value="Subscribe"><div class="fake-input-wrapper"><div class="fake-input"></div><div class="fake-button"></div></div></form></div></div>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[#29- Stop Doing What Isn’t Working]]></title><description><![CDATA[From Fatherly.com:]]></description><link>https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/29-stop-doing-what-isnt-working</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/29-stop-doing-what-isnt-working</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Dee Lauderdale]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Wed, 30 Sep 2026 20:49:58 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!K-nt!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fb7a62946-2cab-473a-a346-423f33345062_250x172.jpeg" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="image-gallery-embed" data-attrs="{&quot;gallery&quot;:{&quot;images&quot;:[{&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/b7a62946-2cab-473a-a346-423f33345062_250x172.jpeg&quot;}],&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;alt&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;staticGalleryImage&quot;:{&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/b7a62946-2cab-473a-a346-423f33345062_250x172.jpeg&quot;}},&quot;isEditorNode&quot;:true}"></div><p></p><p>From Fatherly.com:</p><p>&#8220;Men might be the unhappiest they&#8217;ve ever been. Many causes have been cited for a recent slide in male satisfaction, everything from the 24-hour news cycle, to the economy, to the decline of sex, marriage, family, and religion respectively.&#8221;</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/29-stop-doing-what-isnt-working?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/29-stop-doing-what-isnt-working?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share"><span>Share</span></a></p><p>So what about you? How&#8217;s your life going?</p><p>Every man wants his life to be all he dreamed it would be, but it doesn&#8217;t always work out that way. A bad decision here, a bad outcome to a good decision there, and the next thing he knows, he&#8217;s miserable.</p><p>But he doesn&#8217;t understand why.</p><p>He thinks he&#8217;s doing all the right things, but all he&#8217;s doing is repeating the same mistakes over and over. And that&#8217;s why he keeps getting the same results.</p><p>Like the old saying goes, &#8220;do what you&#8217;ve always done, and you&#8217;ll get the results you&#8217;ve always gotten.&#8221;</p><p>That&#8217;s why sometimes all it takes for a man to turn his life around is to make a few changes.</p><p>I&#8217;ve got a few for you to consider.</p><p><strong>What are the top three things wasting your emotions, time, and energy that you need to drop immediately?</strong></p><p>A few suggestions:</p><ul><li><p><strong>A Hobby.</strong> Hint, pick one, drop the rest.</p></li><li><p><strong>A Relationship.</strong> Get rid of people who suck the life out of you.</p></li><li><p><strong>Mindless tv watching.</strong> Flipping from channel to channel is no way to spend a night.</p></li></ul><p><strong>What 3 changes would make the biggest difference in your quality of life?</strong></p><p>Here are a few changes I&#8217;ve made over the years:</p><ul><li><p><strong>Start exercising.</strong> Don&#8217;t know how to get started? Begin with a 30 minute walk, three days per week.</p></li><li><p><strong>Stop looking at email or social media first thing in the morning.</strong> My day begins with a 30 minute workout/walk, then scripture/prayer, <strong>THEN</strong> I peek at email and read the news.</p></li><li><p><strong>Eat dinner together as a family at least 5 nights per week. </strong>Those 20 minutes give you a chance to learn what&#8217;s going on in the lives of the people in your family, head off problems before they get serious, or just laugh together.!</p></li></ul><p><strong>What 3 things do you need the most?</strong></p><p>Here&#8217;s a few I&#8217;ve heard other men talk about:</p><ul><li><p><strong>A friend.</strong> Something the average man doesn&#8217;t have. It takes work to develop one but it&#8217;s worth it. You need a guy you can call at 3AM when you&#8217;re in trouble.</p></li><li><p><strong>A gym membership.</strong> Some guys need the discipline of knowing they are spending money and don&#8217;t want to waste it.</p></li><li><p><strong>A do-over. </strong>Give yourself permission to move on from old mistakes. When you fail, store the lesson and delete the details.</p></li></ul><p><strong>Pick one. Get started. And start building the life you&#8217;ve always wanted</strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.deelauderdale.com/?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share Dee Lauderdale&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.deelauderdale.com/?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share"><span>Share Dee Lauderdale</span></a></p><p></p><div><hr></div><h4 style="text-align: center;"><strong>Proverbs for Men: Timeless Truths for Modern Challenges</strong></h4><p style="text-align: center;">Fear of the LORD teaches wisdom; humility precedes honor. Proverbs 15:33</p><div><hr></div><h3 style="text-align: center;"><strong>Man Law</strong></h3><p style="text-align: center;">Don&#8217;t expect life to be fair</p><div class="subscription-widget-wrap-editor" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.deelauderdale.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe&quot;,&quot;language&quot;:&quot;en&quot;}" data-component-name="SubscribeWidgetToDOM"><div class="subscription-widget show-subscribe"><div class="preamble"><p class="cta-caption">Thanks for reading! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.</p></div><form class="subscription-widget-subscribe"><input type="email" class="email-input" name="email" placeholder="Type your email&#8230;" tabindex="-1"><input type="submit" class="button primary" value="Subscribe"><div class="fake-input-wrapper"><div class="fake-input"></div><div class="fake-button"></div></div></form></div></div>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[#28- At 61, I’m Still Looking For My Crew]]></title><description><![CDATA[There are a lot of things I miss about being a kid.]]></description><link>https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/28-at-61-im-still-looking-for-my</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/28-at-61-im-still-looking-for-my</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Dee Lauderdale]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Wed, 30 Sep 2026 20:48:39 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!UEFi!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Ff82a25c7-7eb2-41f9-9e31-a1e4e3346d9a_480x360.jpeg" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="image-gallery-embed" data-attrs="{&quot;gallery&quot;:{&quot;images&quot;:[{&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/f82a25c7-7eb2-41f9-9e31-a1e4e3346d9a_480x360.jpeg&quot;}],&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;alt&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;staticGalleryImage&quot;:{&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/f82a25c7-7eb2-41f9-9e31-a1e4e3346d9a_480x360.jpeg&quot;}},&quot;isEditorNode&quot;:true}"></div><p></p><p>There are a lot of things I miss about being a kid. I miss riding my bike to the Athens public pool and hanging out for the afternoon. I miss waterskiing until my legs were shaking from fatigue. I miss the feeling of freedom when I pulled out of my driveway on my motorcycle. This was before cell phones, which meant my only restriction was my curfew.</p><p>And I miss hanging out with my buddies.</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/28-at-61-im-still-looking-for-my?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/28-at-61-im-still-looking-for-my?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share"><span>Share</span></a></p><p>I always welled up with a sense of pride that I was a part of that group. A crew. A gang of little white boys. We did lots of stuff together. We parked our motorcycles together at church and then we rode off as a group after church. Picture 7 or 8 teenage boys roaring away from the First Baptist Church of Athens. Think Heck&#8217;s Angels.</p><p>I didn&#8217;t know it then, but I was experiencing a mental high because I was getting something I needed, I was part of a group.</p><p>Later on I got that acceptance from sports teams. All the football players got gray windbreaker jackets to wear when it wasn&#8217;t cold enough to wear a letterman&#8217;s jacket. The windbreaker had our name, number and &#8220;Athens High Football&#8221; on the back. Even if I was by myself, everybody who saw me knew I was part of the team. But the best times were when a group of us were walking into a party or down the aisle in a mall all wearing our jackets.</p><p>I miss that. Even at 61, I&#8217;d still join up with a group of guys if I had a chance. The reason I haven&#8217;t is there aren&#8217;t a lot of choices. Think about it, a guy over 35 has limited options if he wants to join a group. The Masons. Sports leagues. Hunting clubs. Country clubs. Men&#8217;s-only civic clubs are essentially gone.&#8221; That&#8217;s about it. You can&#8217;t have a men&#8217;s only civic club, so that&#8217;s out. You have to take part in an activity if you want to join a country club or hunting club.</p><p>I can&#8217;t be the only man who&#8217;s thinking about this. Even if it&#8217;s not a conscious thought, the average guy knows there&#8217;s something missing in his life, but he doesn&#8217;t know how to describe the emptiness. Even with a great marriage and kids, a job he enjoys, there&#8217;s still something missing. He feels guilty for bringing it up. What&#8217;s he got to complain about? But the nagging feeling won&#8217;t go away. And it never will.</p><p>Too many men try to use a hobby to fill the void. The problem is many hobbies are solo activities like woodworking or working on cars or fishing. Nothing wrong with these, but they are no substitute for being on a team.</p><p>A group of men all rowing in the same direction. The score doesn&#8217;t matter. The battle is what&#8217;s important to the player. The giving of everything the player had and having another man&#8217;s back is what drives them. If you ever get a taste of that, you&#8217;ll spend the rest of your life looking for it.</p><p>I found it when I was young and I&#8217;m still looking for it at 61.</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.deelauderdale.com/?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share Dee Lauderdale&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.deelauderdale.com/?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share"><span>Share Dee Lauderdale</span></a></p><p></p><div><hr></div><h3>Proverbs for Men: Timeless Truths for Modern Challenges</h3><p>Walk with the wise and become wise; associate with fools and get in trouble. Proverbs 13:20</p><div><hr></div><h3>Man Law</h3><p>Avoid those who don&#8217;t and surround yourself with those who do</p><div class="subscription-widget-wrap-editor" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.deelauderdale.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe&quot;,&quot;language&quot;:&quot;en&quot;}" data-component-name="SubscribeWidgetToDOM"><div class="subscription-widget show-subscribe"><div class="preamble"><p class="cta-caption">Thanks for reading! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.</p></div><form class="subscription-widget-subscribe"><input type="email" class="email-input" name="email" placeholder="Type your email&#8230;" tabindex="-1"><input type="submit" class="button primary" value="Subscribe"><div class="fake-input-wrapper"><div class="fake-input"></div><div class="fake-button"></div></div></form></div></div>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[#27-Proverbs Was Right About Everything (Here’s Proof)]]></title><description><![CDATA[Remember Jussie Smollett?]]></description><link>https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/27-proverbs-was-right-about-everything</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/27-proverbs-was-right-about-everything</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Dee Lauderdale]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Wed, 30 Sep 2026 20:47:18 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ovxl!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6c59d717-2494-4dfd-8317-194abf7f7f76_828x948.jpeg" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="image-gallery-embed" data-attrs="{&quot;gallery&quot;:{&quot;images&quot;:[{&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/6c59d717-2494-4dfd-8317-194abf7f7f76_828x948.jpeg&quot;}],&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;alt&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;staticGalleryImage&quot;:{&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/6c59d717-2494-4dfd-8317-194abf7f7f76_828x948.jpeg&quot;}},&quot;isEditorNode&quot;:true}"></div><p></p><p>Remember Jussie Smollett? Rachel Dolezal? Do you remember there were a ton of guys who ran to social media to back them up before the facts came out?</p><p>Proverbs called that 3,000 years before X/Twitter existed.</p><p><em>Spouting off before listening to the facts is both shameful and foolish.</em> &#8212; Proverbs 18:13</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/27-proverbs-was-right-about-everything?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/27-proverbs-was-right-about-everything?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share"><span>Share</span></a></p><p></p><p>That&#8217;s the whole point of this essay. I love the book of Proverbs. It&#8217;s the best book for training and teaching men ever written &#8212; penned by the wisest man alive, 4,000 years ago. It&#8217;s been tested and vetted ever since so If it didn&#8217;t work, you&#8217;d have heard by now.</p><p>Too many guys think the Bible doesn&#8217;t apply to their world in 2026. So I&#8217;m going to prove it does by giving you one situation you&#8217;ll actually face then pair it with one verse that already solved it.</p><p><strong>Ever back the wrong guy before knowing the full story?</strong> You already read that one above. Proverbs 18:13. Learn it.</p><p><strong>Should you keep giving advice to a guy who never takes it &#8212; even after he watches you be right, again?</strong> <em>Don&#8217;t waste your breath on fools, for they will despise the wisest advice.</em> &#8212; Proverbs 23:9</p><p><strong>What actually makes a man successful?</strong> <em>Get the truth and never sell it; also get wisdom, discipline, and good judgment.</em> &#8212; Proverbs 23:23</p><p><strong>What does binge drinking actually look like?</strong> <em>Who has anguish? Who has sorrow? Who is always fighting? Who is always complaining? Who has unnecessary bruises? Who has bloodshot eyes? It is the one who spends long hours in the taverns, trying out new drinks. Don&#8217;t gaze at the wine, seeing how red it is, how it sparkles in the cup, how smoothly it goes down. For in the end it bites like a poisonous snake; it stings like a viper. You will see hallucinations, and you will say crazy things. You will stagger like a sailor tossed at sea, clinging to a swaying mast. And you will say, &#8220;They hit me, but I didn&#8217;t feel it. I didn&#8217;t even know it when they beat me up. When will I wake up so I can look for another drink?&#8221;</em> &#8212; Proverbs 23:29-35</p><p>Translation: the hangover ain&#8217;t worth it.</p><p><strong>Ever catch yourself bragging about plans that haven&#8217;t happened yet?</strong> <em>Don&#8217;t brag about tomorrow, since you don&#8217;t know what the day will bring.</em> &#8212; Proverbs 27:1</p><p><strong>Should you be your own hype-man, or let your work speak for itself?</strong> <em>Let someone else praise you, not your own mouth &#8212; a stranger, not your own lips.</em> &#8212; Proverbs 27:2</p><p><strong>Should you tell the truth, or just tell people what they want to hear?</strong> <em>In the end, people appreciate honest criticism far more than flattery.</em> &#8212; Proverbs 28:23</p><p><strong>If you had one prayer guaranteed to be answered, what would it be?</strong> <em>O God, I beg two favors from you; let me have them before I die. First, help me never to tell a lie. Second, give me neither poverty nor riches! Give me just enough to satisfy my needs. For if I grow rich, I may deny you and say, &#8220;Who is the Lord?&#8221; And if I am too poor, I may steal and thus insult God&#8217;s holy name.</em> &#8212; Proverbs 30:7-9</p><p>Translation: don&#8217;t pray for more. Pray for enough and for the guts to stay honest either way.</p><p>That&#8217;s five minutes. Imagine what 31 days does.</p><p><strong>I dare you to read one chapter of Proverbs a day. That&#8217;s it &#8212; 31 days, 31 chapters, done.</strong></p><p>Then come tell me it doesn&#8217;t apply to your life.</p><div><hr></div><h4 style="text-align: center;"><strong>Proverbs for Men: Timeless Truths for Modern Challenges</strong></h4><p>These are the proverbs of Solomon, David&#8217;s son, king of Israel.Their purpose is to teach people wisdom and discipline, to help them understand the insights of the wise. Their purpose is to teach people to live disciplined and successful lives, to help them do what is right, just, and fair. These proverbs will give insight to the simple, knowledge and discernment to the young. Let the wise listen to these proverbs and become even wiser. Let those with understanding receive guidance by exploring the meaning in these proverbs and parables, the words of the wise and their riddles. Proverbs 1:1-6</p><div><hr></div><h4 style="text-align: center;"><strong>Man Law</strong></h4><p style="text-align: center;">Keep it Simple</p><div class="subscription-widget-wrap-editor" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.deelauderdale.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe&quot;,&quot;language&quot;:&quot;en&quot;}" data-component-name="SubscribeWidgetToDOM"><div class="subscription-widget show-subscribe"><div class="preamble"><p class="cta-caption">Thanks for reading! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.</p></div><form class="subscription-widget-subscribe"><input type="email" class="email-input" name="email" placeholder="Type your email&#8230;" tabindex="-1"><input type="submit" class="button primary" value="Subscribe"><div class="fake-input-wrapper"><div class="fake-input"></div><div class="fake-button"></div></div></form></div></div>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[#26-Proud of Where I’m From, but Not Everything We’ve Done]]></title><description><![CDATA[I grew up in a small town 15 miles south of the Alabama/Tennessee border called Athens, which means I grew up in the deep south where race has always been a complicated issue.]]></description><link>https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/26-proud-of-where-im-from-but-not</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/26-proud-of-where-im-from-but-not</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Dee Lauderdale]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Wed, 30 Sep 2026 20:46:00 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!g4wk!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd0db5303-a086-47d2-ae9d-ad39c97c0798_886x886.jpeg" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="image-gallery-embed" data-attrs="{&quot;gallery&quot;:{&quot;images&quot;:[{&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/d0db5303-a086-47d2-ae9d-ad39c97c0798_886x886.jpeg&quot;}],&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;alt&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;staticGalleryImage&quot;:{&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/d0db5303-a086-47d2-ae9d-ad39c97c0798_886x886.jpeg&quot;}},&quot;isEditorNode&quot;:true}"></div><p></p><p>I grew up in a small town 15 miles south of the Alabama/Tennessee border called Athens, which means I grew up in the deep south where race has always been a complicated issue.</p><p>I was born in 1964 so I started school in the heat of the battle over segregated public schools. A federal judge issued a ruling in the summer of 1970 ordering my little county to integrate its schools. So my first day at East Limestone Elementary was the first day white kids and black kids would sit in the same classroom. Think about it, there was a time when a judge had to order white folks to allow black kids to sit next to their kids in a public school. I still have a hard time comprehending how this was possible within my lifetime.</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/26-proud-of-where-im-from-but-not?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/26-proud-of-where-im-from-but-not?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share"><span>Share</span></a></p><p>Not only that, I can remember seeing separate water fountains, one marked &#8220;white&#8221;, the other marked &#8220;colored&#8221; at the courthouse. Again think about that, within my lifetime, there were laws that said black folks couldn&#8217;t drink out of the same water fountains as white people.</p><p>But not everything was horrible where I grew up.</p><p>There were generous men and women who volunteered as class moms.</p><p>When we needed a larger weight room my dad and a few other fathers, assisted by us football players, built one. Not raised the money to pay someone else to build, but built it after work and on weekends.</p><p>People from the First Baptist church in Athens spent hours in the blazing sun, helping us recover whatever we could after a EF5 tornado turned our two-story house into kindling on April 3, 1974.</p><p>It&#8217;s hard to believe these extreme behaviors could be true of the same patch of dirt.</p><p>&#8220;I&#8217;m proud of where I&#8217;m from, but not everything we&#8217;ve done&#8221; is a line from a song by Brad Paisley and LL Cool J called &#8220;Accidental Racist&#8221;. And it pretty much sums up my take on growing up and living in the South. I don&#8217;t have to reject where I came from in order to reject the wrong things that were done there. I can honor the good while refusing to repeat the bad.</p><p>Now I&#8217;m trying to take the best of what it means to be a Southern gentleman&#8212;service to others, honesty, hard work, and living out your faith&#8212;and pass those values on to as many men as possible.</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.deelauderdale.com/?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share Dee Lauderdale&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.deelauderdale.com/?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share"><span>Share Dee Lauderdale</span></a></p><p></p><div><hr></div><h4 style="text-align: center;"><strong>Proverbs for Men: Timeless Truths for Modern Challenges</strong></h4><p style="text-align: center;">Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensure justice for those being crushed. Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless, and see that they get justice. Proverbs 31:8-9</p><div><hr></div><h4 style="text-align: center;"><strong>Man Law</strong></h4><p style="text-align: center;">Being a southern gentleman never goes out of style</p><div class="subscription-widget-wrap-editor" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.deelauderdale.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe&quot;,&quot;language&quot;:&quot;en&quot;}" data-component-name="SubscribeWidgetToDOM"><div class="subscription-widget show-subscribe"><div class="preamble"><p class="cta-caption">Thanks for reading! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.</p></div><form class="subscription-widget-subscribe"><input type="email" class="email-input" name="email" placeholder="Type your email&#8230;" tabindex="-1"><input type="submit" class="button primary" value="Subscribe"><div class="fake-input-wrapper"><div class="fake-input"></div><div class="fake-button"></div></div></form></div></div>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[#25- Dee’s Three’s]]></title><description><![CDATA[I&#8217;m a big believer in breaking down difficult or complicated tasks into smaller pieces.]]></description><link>https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/25-dees-threes</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/25-dees-threes</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Dee Lauderdale]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Wed, 30 Sep 2026 20:44:56 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!pkW9!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F13d0d12b-455f-40e1-a6de-8c23ff3c056e_1086x724.jpeg" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="image-gallery-embed" data-attrs="{&quot;gallery&quot;:{&quot;images&quot;:[{&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/13d0d12b-455f-40e1-a6de-8c23ff3c056e_1086x724.jpeg&quot;}],&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;alt&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;staticGalleryImage&quot;:{&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/13d0d12b-455f-40e1-a6de-8c23ff3c056e_1086x724.jpeg&quot;}},&quot;isEditorNode&quot;:true}"></div><p></p><p>I&#8217;m a big believer in breaking down difficult or complicated tasks into smaller pieces. I also like to come up with short, easy to remember mantras that will help me handle the daily junk every man deals with. I call them Dee&#8217;s Three&#8217;s</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/25-dees-threes?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/25-dees-threes?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share"><span>Share</span></a></p><p>Here&#8217;s a few of my favorites:</p><ul><li><p>Protect Provide, Lead are what every man is designed and assigned to do.</p></li><li><p>Do what&#8217;s right, do your best, put others first</p></li><li><p>Body Mind Spirit are the three areas of every man&#8217;s life he needs to manage and monitor.</p></li><li><p>Satan always uses these 3 ways to attack a man: Passion, Possession, and Position. This is from 1 John 2:16</p></li><li><p>When faced with a difficult choice always ask &#8220;Is this the wise thing to do in light of my: Past Experience, Current Circumstances, Future Hopes and Dreams&#8221;</p></li><li><p>All men need to be &#8220;Quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to get angry&#8221; (James 1:19)</p></li><li><p>3 &#8220;A&#8217;s,&#8221; that make internet porn so dangerous; it&#8217;s accessible, affordable, and anonymous</p></li><li><p>You only need three main prayers in life: Help, Thanks, and Wow - Anne Lamott</p></li><li><p>Improvise, Adapt, Overcome when life gets tough</p></li><li><p>Time is our most valuable asset, yet we tend to waste it or spend it rather than invest it</p></li><li><p>Have a plan, work your plan, plan for the unexpected- Coach &#8220;Bear&#8221; Bryant</p></li><li><p>Three components of a performance review- what the person needs to: stop, start and continue. This works on yourself as well as others</p></li><li><p>Great dads are firm, fair, consistent</p></li><li><p>3 Parts of a real apology- I&#8217;m sorry, it&#8217;s my fault, what can I do to make it right?</p></li><li><p>When hiring someone examine: Their personal Character, How they mesh with the Chemistry of the team they&#8217;ll be part of and their level of job Competency. In that order.</p></li><li><p>3 life gauges to keep an eye on so you don&#8217;t blow up:</p><ul><li><p>Money-constantly track how much you: make, have, and owe</p></li><li><p>Time- organize your to-do list into 3 categories: must do, should do, could do</p></li><li><p>Health- Track you weight, exercise and sleep</p></li></ul></li><li><p>Ability is what you&#8217;re capable of doing, Motivation determines what you do, Attitude determines how well you do it. - Loug Holtz</p></li><li><p>3 steps to becoming wise: read more books, ask great questions, listen with intensity.</p></li><li><p>3 keys to success in any job/career: show up on time, solve problems on your own, and be a team player</p></li><li><p>Before you talk about someone, ask yourself: Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?</p></li><li><p>Don&#8217;t promise when you&#8217;re happy. Don&#8217;t reply when you&#8217;re angry. Don&#8217;t decide when you&#8217;re sad.</p></li><li><p>Three buckets for your money: sharing, saving, spending (in that order!)</p></li><li><p>3 ways smart men go broke: Liquor, Ladies, Loans -Charlie Monger</p></li><li><p>Every guy needs one of these on a regular basis: Kick in the ass, Pat on the back, and Arm around shoulder</p></li></ul><p>Print this list out and tape it to your bathroom mirror or keep it on your phone so you can start thriving instead of just surviving.</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.deelauderdale.com/?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share Dee Lauderdale&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.deelauderdale.com/?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share"><span>Share Dee Lauderdale</span></a></p><div><hr></div><h4 style="text-align: center;"><strong>Proverbs for Men: Timeless Truths for Modern Challenges</strong></h4><p style="text-align: center;">A prudent person foresees danger and takes precautions. The simpleton goes blindly on and suffers the consequences. Proverbs 22:3</p><div><hr></div><h4 style="text-align: center;"><strong>Man Laws</strong></h4><p style="text-align: center;">It&#8217;s not enough to be proud of your ancestry, live up to it.</p><div class="subscription-widget-wrap-editor" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.deelauderdale.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe&quot;,&quot;language&quot;:&quot;en&quot;}" data-component-name="SubscribeWidgetToDOM"><div class="subscription-widget show-subscribe"><div class="preamble"><p class="cta-caption">Thanks for reading! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.</p></div><form class="subscription-widget-subscribe"><input type="email" class="email-input" name="email" placeholder="Type your email&#8230;" tabindex="-1"><input type="submit" class="button primary" value="Subscribe"><div class="fake-input-wrapper"><div class="fake-input"></div><div class="fake-button"></div></div></form></div></div>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[#24-Are You an Example or a Warning?]]></title><description><![CDATA[One day your kid and eventually your grandkids will answer a question about you when you&#8217;re not in the room.]]></description><link>https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/24-are-you-an-example-or-a-warning</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/24-are-you-an-example-or-a-warning</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Dee Lauderdale]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Wed, 30 Sep 2026 20:43:55 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!aMdO!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F45a25aad-b4d0-4940-acd0-5f42ff418a36_480x360.jpeg" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="image-gallery-embed" data-attrs="{&quot;gallery&quot;:{&quot;images&quot;:[{&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/45a25aad-b4d0-4940-acd0-5f42ff418a36_480x360.jpeg&quot;}],&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;alt&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;staticGalleryImage&quot;:{&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/45a25aad-b4d0-4940-acd0-5f42ff418a36_480x360.jpeg&quot;}},&quot;isEditorNode&quot;:true}"></div><p></p><p>One day your kid and eventually your grandkids will answer a question about you when you&#8217;re not in the room. Were you an example or a warning?</p><p>I&#8217;ve thought about this question a lot over the years. First when both of my girls were born and recently when my grandsons came along. Because the boys will hear stories about me one day, I want those stories to make them want to become men like their Saba (my grandfather name), not spend their lives avoiding my mistakes.</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/24-are-you-an-example-or-a-warning?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/24-are-you-an-example-or-a-warning?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share"><span>Share</span></a></p><p></p><p>And I know I&#8217;m not the only guy who has thought about it.</p><p>Mike Cooley of Drive-By Truckers once admitted he worries whether his son sees his life as an example or a warning. In one song he writes, &#8220;If I&#8217;d been my own example I&#8217;d be worse.&#8221;</p><p>Here&#8217;s what he said about the song, &#8220;Even as I was trying to write it I was looking out the window at him(his son) in the driveway thinking, &#8220; I&#8217;ve made so many mistakes, done so many things that could&#8217;ve gone so bad, why should he listen to any advice I had..?&#8221; I think that&#8217;s his way of saying he believes he&#8217;s been more warning than example.</p><p>I understood exactly what Cooley was saying.</p><p>Ever wonder what your kids would honestly say about your life? Do they say you&#8217;re an example to follow or a warning of what to avoid?</p><p>When I&#8217;m tempted to cut a corner, lose my temper, or make a selfish decision, I picture Bennett, Henry, and Mason and how my daughters would explain my choices to them. I never want them to have to say, &#8220;Don&#8217;t do what Saba did.&#8221;</p><p>That thought stops me cold because that&#8217;s not the legacy I want to leave.</p><p>None of us has a perfect record. The question isn&#8217;t whether you&#8217;ve failed. It&#8217;s what you&#8217;ll do next.</p><p>It matters because your kids are watching and one day your grandkids will hear the stories.</p><p>Starting today, give them an example worth following instead of a warning of how not to live.</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.deelauderdale.com/?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share Dee Lauderdale&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.deelauderdale.com/?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share"><span>Share Dee Lauderdale</span></a></p><div><hr></div><h4 style="text-align: center;"><strong>Proverbs for Men: Timeless Truths for Modern Challenges</strong></h4><p>Choose a good reputation over great riches; being held in high esteem is better than silver or gold. Proverbs 22:1</p><div><hr></div><h4 style="text-align: center;"><strong>Man Law</strong></h4><p style="text-align: center;">Speak only when you&#8217;re sure what you&#8217;re going to say will be better than silence</p><div class="subscription-widget-wrap-editor" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.deelauderdale.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe&quot;,&quot;language&quot;:&quot;en&quot;}" data-component-name="SubscribeWidgetToDOM"><div class="subscription-widget show-subscribe"><div class="preamble"><p class="cta-caption">Thanks for reading! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.</p></div><form class="subscription-widget-subscribe"><input type="email" class="email-input" name="email" placeholder="Type your email&#8230;" tabindex="-1"><input type="submit" class="button primary" value="Subscribe"><div class="fake-input-wrapper"><div class="fake-input"></div><div class="fake-button"></div></div></form></div></div>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[#23 I’m sorry….]]></title><description><![CDATA[An open letter to men.]]></description><link>https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/23-im-sorry</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/23-im-sorry</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Dee Lauderdale]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Wed, 30 Sep 2026 20:42:43 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!-80R!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F666e7dbe-98fb-490f-bdc6-d1c5aa7b2214_480x360.jpeg" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="image-gallery-embed" data-attrs="{&quot;gallery&quot;:{&quot;images&quot;:[{&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/666e7dbe-98fb-490f-bdc6-d1c5aa7b2214_480x360.jpeg&quot;}],&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;alt&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;staticGalleryImage&quot;:{&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/666e7dbe-98fb-490f-bdc6-d1c5aa7b2214_480x360.jpeg&quot;}},&quot;isEditorNode&quot;:true}"></div><p></p><p>An open letter to men.</p><p>I&#8217;m sorry I&#8217;ve spent so much time telling you that you need to get your act together. You already know that. You&#8217;re looking for someone to teach and show you how.</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/23-im-sorry?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/23-im-sorry?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share"><span>Share</span></a></p><p></p><p>I&#8217;m sorry I haven&#8217;t been your biggest cheerleader. Celebrating all of the good stuff you do that never gets noticed or talked about.</p><p>I&#8217;m sorry I got preachy when I should have humbly admitted &#8220;this is how I screwed up&#8221; so you don&#8217;t have to make the same mistake.</p><p>I&#8217;m sorry I haven&#8217;t stood up for you when the world attacked you for merely being a man.</p><p>I&#8217;m sorry you&#8217;ve lost out on opportunities because of a lot of people&#8217;s prejudice against men.</p><p>I&#8217;m sorry you&#8217;ve either decided to quit or are on the verge of giving-up. Please don&#8217;t. Give it one more try. I promise I&#8217;ll do a better job of helping, teaching, and encouraging you.</p><p>I&#8217;d like to say I&#8217;m sorry life is hard for you because you&#8217;re a man, but that&#8217;s how it is. What we have to do is band together as allies. Protecting, supporting, standing up for each other.</p><p>Can I count on you?</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.deelauderdale.com/?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share Dee Lauderdale&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.deelauderdale.com/?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share"><span>Share Dee Lauderdale</span></a></p><p></p><div><hr></div><h4 style="text-align: center;"><strong>Proverbs for Men: Timeless Truths for Modern Challenges</strong></h4><p>Follow the steps of good men instead, and stay on the paths of the righteous. Proverbs 20:20</p><div><hr></div><h4 style="text-align: center;"><strong>Man Law</strong></h4><p>Good friends make us better people. They cheer us on when we hit bottom and keep us humble when we reach the top</p><div class="subscription-widget-wrap-editor" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.deelauderdale.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe&quot;,&quot;language&quot;:&quot;en&quot;}" data-component-name="SubscribeWidgetToDOM"><div class="subscription-widget show-subscribe"><div class="preamble"><p class="cta-caption">Thanks for reading! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.</p></div><form class="subscription-widget-subscribe"><input type="email" class="email-input" name="email" placeholder="Type your email&#8230;" tabindex="-1"><input type="submit" class="button primary" value="Subscribe"><div class="fake-input-wrapper"><div class="fake-input"></div><div class="fake-button"></div></div></form></div></div>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[#22- The Most Dangerous Man Isn’t the Most Talented]]></title><description><![CDATA[Let me guess.]]></description><link>https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/22-the-most-dangerous-man-isnt-the</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/22-the-most-dangerous-man-isnt-the</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Dee Lauderdale]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Wed, 30 Sep 2026 20:41:39 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!OkTW!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F78c0214b-2d5c-4143-a725-3e8c4f27f094_1156x680.jpeg" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="image-gallery-embed" data-attrs="{&quot;gallery&quot;:{&quot;images&quot;:[{&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/78c0214b-2d5c-4143-a725-3e8c4f27f094_1156x680.jpeg&quot;}],&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;alt&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;staticGalleryImage&quot;:{&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/78c0214b-2d5c-4143-a725-3e8c4f27f094_1156x680.jpeg&quot;}},&quot;isEditorNode&quot;:true}"></div><p></p><p>Let me guess. You think you lost the genetic lottery. You&#8217;re not the fastest. Not the smartest. Not the best looking. So what&#8217;s the point of competing?</p><p>Good news, YOU&#8217;RE WRONG! I want to introduce you to a principle that will prove it:</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/22-the-most-dangerous-man-isnt-the?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/22-the-most-dangerous-man-isnt-the?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share"><span>Share</span></a></p><p style="text-align: center;"><em><strong>&#8220;Hard work beats talent when talent doesn&#8217;t work hard.&#8221;</strong></em></p><p>Every man eventually meets two kinds of people; those born with natural talent who make everything look effortless and those who grind for every inch they earn. That&#8217;s why so many men feel defeated before they even start.</p><p>But talent is a head start, nothing more. It&#8217;s not a guarantee you&#8217;ll always come out on top.</p><p>My favorite illustration of this is about two of the most well-known golfers of the last couple of decades, Tiger Woods and John Daly. These two men could not be more different in how they approach being a professional golfer.</p><p>Tiger Woods trained like a Navy SEAL who happened to play golf. He lifted weights, ran miles in combat boots, and still found time to spend 10 to 12 hours a day on the driving range and putting greens. It was normal for him to hit 1,000 golf balls a day. The result?</p><ul><li><p>82 PGA Wins</p></li><li><p>15 Majors</p></li></ul><p>John Daly, on the other hand, lived on Diet Coke, Miller Lite, cigarettes, and McDonald&#8217;s. He rarely practiced and relied on natural feel and the ability to hit a golf ball a long, long way. The result?</p><ul><li><p>5 PGA Wins</p></li><li><p>2 Majors</p></li></ul><p>But which one had the most talent? The obvious answer is Tiger. But here&#8217;s his opinion:</p><p>On the Wednesday night before a tournament, John Daly was sitting in the clubhouse bar drinking whiskey and hanging out with his buddies. Tiger Woods walked by after he finished hitting balls on the range after he had already played an 18-hole practice round, when Daly called out to him to sit down, have a drink, and relax.</p><p>Tiger turned down the offer because he was headed to the gym to work out and then he was going to the putting green.</p><p>Daly looked at him and joked, &#8220;Tiger, man, you don&#8217;t need to do all that. Come have a drink with me.&#8221;</p><p>Tiger looked at Daly and replied: &#8220;Daly, if I had your talent, I wouldn&#8217;t have to.&#8221;</p><p style="text-align: center;"><strong>The Takeaway for Men</strong></p><p>Gentlemen, do not make excuses for what you lack in natural ability. Instead:</p><ul><li><p><strong>Focus on what you can control:</strong> You cannot control your genetics. There is a limit to how strong, fast or smart you can become. BUT, you have 100% control over your effort, your discipline, and your attitude.</p></li><li><p><strong>Build Consistency instead of obsessing on results</strong>: This comes from the GOAT, Nick Saban &#8220;focus on daily actions, habits, and standards, and results will follow rather than obsessing over the scoreboard&#8221;. People don&#8217;t determine their futures, they determine their habits and their habits determine their future.</p></li></ul><p>Somewhere out there is a man with more talent than you. Beat him anyway.</p><ul><li><p>Show up when he doesn&#8217;t.</p></li><li><p>Train when he rests.</p></li><li><p>Study when he watches TV.</p><p></p></li></ul><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.deelauderdale.com/?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share Dee Lauderdale&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.deelauderdale.com/?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share"><span>Share Dee Lauderdale</span></a></p><p></p><div><hr></div><h4 style="text-align: center;"><strong>Proverbs for Men: Timeless Truths for Modern Challenges</strong></h4><p style="text-align: center;">Lazy people want much but get little, but those who work hard will</p><p style="text-align: center;">Prosper. Proverbs 13:4</p><div><hr></div><h4 style="text-align: center;"><strong>Man Law</strong></h4><p style="text-align: center;">It takes no talent to hustle</p><div class="subscription-widget-wrap-editor" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.deelauderdale.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe&quot;,&quot;language&quot;:&quot;en&quot;}" data-component-name="SubscribeWidgetToDOM"><div class="subscription-widget show-subscribe"><div class="preamble"><p class="cta-caption">Thanks for reading! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.</p></div><form class="subscription-widget-subscribe"><input type="email" class="email-input" name="email" placeholder="Type your email&#8230;" tabindex="-1"><input type="submit" class="button primary" value="Subscribe"><div class="fake-input-wrapper"><div class="fake-input"></div><div class="fake-button"></div></div></form></div></div>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[#21-Why Smart Men Meet Around a Table Instead of Arguing Online]]></title><description><![CDATA[I look forward to the third Monday night of every month because that&#8217;s when I meet with a group of men around a table filled with good food and good drink.]]></description><link>https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/21-why-smart-men-meet-around-a-table</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/21-why-smart-men-meet-around-a-table</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Dee Lauderdale]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Wed, 30 Sep 2026 20:39:52 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!Gvsy!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F73573044-9b78-4830-af1c-58515e3613ea_1016x774.jpeg" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="image-gallery-embed" data-attrs="{&quot;gallery&quot;:{&quot;images&quot;:[{&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/73573044-9b78-4830-af1c-58515e3613ea_1016x774.jpeg&quot;}],&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;alt&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;staticGalleryImage&quot;:{&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/73573044-9b78-4830-af1c-58515e3613ea_1016x774.jpeg&quot;}},&quot;isEditorNode&quot;:true}"></div><p></p><p>I look forward to the third Monday night of every month because that&#8217;s when I meet with a group of men around a table filled with good food and good drink. We call it &#8220;Veritas&#8221; and for 2 to 3 hours we talk about politics, geopolitical events, morality, the current state of the world and a few other topics.</p><p>We have one rule, &#8220;thou shalt not be easily offended.&#8221;</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/21-why-smart-men-meet-around-a-table?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/21-why-smart-men-meet-around-a-table?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share"><span>Share</span></a></p><p>This is the opposite of what passes for debate on social media, which is posting a &#8220;hot take&#8221;, then running for the hills or blocking comments.</p><p>After hours of Facebook, X or Reddit, most men have forgotten how to disagree without becoming enemies.</p><p>The solution is we need to bring back one of civilization&#8217;s oldest traditions: men gathered around a table sharpening one another.</p><p>If this sounds like a good way to spend an evening but you don&#8217;t know how to start or how to structure the gatherings, one our founding fathers left you the blueprint almost 300 years ago.</p><p>In 1727, 21-year-old Benjamin Franklin started a group of twelve men called the Junto. They met every Friday night for one purpose:<strong> mutual improvement. </strong>Every man brought questions. Every man helped the others become wiser, more useful, and more virtuous.</p><p>Here&#8217;s how Franklin described Junto in his autobiography:</p><p><em>&#8220; The rules that I drew up required that every member, in his turn, should produce one or more queries on any point of Morals, Politics, or Natural Philosophy, to be discuss&#8217;d by the company;....</em></p><p><em>Our debates were to be under the direction of a president, and to be conducted in the sincere spirit of inquiry after truth, without fondness for dispute or desire of victory; &#8230;..&#8221;</em></p><p>I love the questions Franklin came up with to guide the weekly meetings. There are 24 of them but here are my favorites:</p><ol><li><p>Have you met with anything in the author you last read, remarkable, or suitable to be communicated to the Junto? particularly in history, morality, poetry, physic, travels, mechanic arts, or other parts of knowledge.</p></li><li><p>Hath any citizen in your knowledge failed in his business lately, and what have you heard of the cause?</p></li><li><p>Have you lately heard of any citizen&#8217;s thriving well, and by what means?</p></li><li><p>Do you know of any fellow citizen, who has lately done a worthy action, deserving praise and imitation? or who has committed an error proper for us to be warned against and avoid?</p></li><li><p>Do you think of any thing at present, in which the Junto may be serviceable to <em>mankind</em>? to their country, to their friends, or to themselves?</p></li><li><p>Do you know of any deserving young beginner lately set up, whom it lies in the power of the Junto any way to encourage?</p></li><li><p>Hath anybody attacked your reputation lately? and what can the Junto do towards securing it?</p></li><li><p>In what manner can the Junto, or any of them, assist you in any of your honourable designs?</p></li><li><p>Have you any weighty affair in hand, in which you think the advice of the Junto may be of service?</p></li><li><p>Do you see any thing amiss in the present customs or proceedings of the Junto, which might be amended?</p></li></ol><p><strong>When I read the list there are 2 main lessons:</strong></p><p>First, the best and fastest way to learn is to learn from other men&#8217;s experience. Or as Otto von Bismarck said-</p><h4><strong>&#8220;Fools learn from experience. I prefer to learn from the experience of others.&#8221;</strong></h4><p>The second lesson is gentlemen look out for and support their friends. King Solomon wanted to be sure his son understood this when he wrote:</p><p><strong>&#8220;There are &#8220;friends&#8221; who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.&#8221; Proverbs 18:24</strong></p><p>Every month millions of men waste an evening arguing with strangers online.</p><ul><li><p>Gather five or six friends instead.</p></li><li><p>Turn off the phones.</p></li><li><p>Put good food on the table.</p></li><li><p>Ask better questions.</p></li><li><p>Leave wiser than you arrived.</p></li></ul><p>Benjamin Franklin did it almost 300 years ago.</p><p>We still need it today.</p><p>Get started this week! Use Franklin&#8217;s questions or contact me at <a href="mailto:dee@deelauderdale.com">dee@deelauderdale.com</a> and I&#8217;ll tell you how we do it at Veritas.</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.deelauderdale.com/?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share Dee Lauderdale&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.deelauderdale.com/?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share"><span>Share Dee Lauderdale</span></a></p><div><hr></div><h4 style="text-align: center;"><strong>Proverbs for Men: Timeless Truths for Modern Challenges</strong></h4><p>As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend. Proverbs 27:17</p><div><hr></div><h4 style="text-align: center;"><strong>Man Law</strong></h4><p style="text-align: center;">A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.</p><p style="text-align: center;">-Elbert Hubbard</p><div class="subscription-widget-wrap-editor" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.deelauderdale.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe&quot;,&quot;language&quot;:&quot;en&quot;}" data-component-name="SubscribeWidgetToDOM"><div class="subscription-widget show-subscribe"><div class="preamble"><p class="cta-caption">Thanks for reading! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.</p></div><form class="subscription-widget-subscribe"><input type="email" class="email-input" name="email" placeholder="Type your email&#8230;" tabindex="-1"><input type="submit" class="button primary" value="Subscribe"><div class="fake-input-wrapper"><div class="fake-input"></div><div class="fake-button"></div></div></form></div></div>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[#20-The Real Test of a Man Isn’t Success—It’s Frustration]]></title><description><![CDATA[Any guy can act like a gentleman when life is going his way, the real test comes when you&#8217;re tired, frustrated, embarrassed, or angry.]]></description><link>https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/20-the-real-test-of-a-man-isnt-successits</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/20-the-real-test-of-a-man-isnt-successits</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Dee Lauderdale]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Wed, 30 Sep 2026 20:38:03 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!-sNC!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F48364507-470c-4a7a-b22e-5bea827a5c34_886x886.jpeg" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="image-gallery-embed" data-attrs="{&quot;gallery&quot;:{&quot;images&quot;:[{&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/48364507-470c-4a7a-b22e-5bea827a5c34_886x886.jpeg&quot;}],&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;alt&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;staticGalleryImage&quot;:{&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/48364507-470c-4a7a-b22e-5bea827a5c34_886x886.jpeg&quot;}},&quot;isEditorNode&quot;:true}"></div><p></p><p>Any guy can act like a gentleman when life is going his way, the real test comes when you&#8217;re tired, frustrated, embarrassed, or angry. That&#8217;s when your character shows up&#8212;or doesn&#8217;t. Every day we&#8217;re faced with hundreds of issues we have to figure out how to handle. How we respond to those inconveniences and irritations tell a lot about our character.</p><p>We all need to have a set of rules to guide us when the girl working the register at Chick-fil-A gives you an Arnold Palmer instead of half-sweet/half unsweet tea. Or the mechanic charges you twice what he said he would.</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/20-the-real-test-of-a-man-isnt-successits?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/20-the-real-test-of-a-man-isnt-successits?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share"><span>Share</span></a></p><p><strong>Here are 10 simple rules for navigating the ordinary frustrations of life.</strong></p><p>1. Don&#8217;t forget everybody has a bad day</p><p>2. Don&#8217;t be a Jerk</p><p>3. Don&#8217;t jump to a conclusion</p><p>4. Don&#8217;t cheat</p><p>5. Don&#8217;t hold a grudge</p><p></p><p>1. Do give people the benefit of the doubt</p><p>2. Do say please</p><p>3. Do say thank you</p><p>4. Do tell the truth</p><p>5. Do stay calm</p><p>I&#8217;m never a gentleman when I explode or show my ass because I didn&#8217;t get my way, I&#8217;m a child. Acting like that is not kindness and humility, it&#8217;s me making someone&#8217;s life worse because they had to deal with me for a few minutes. I&#8217;ve made a small slice of their most precious asset,their time, miserable.</p><p>Every interaction with another person is a vote for the man you&#8217;re becoming. The waitress remembers. Your kids are watching. Your coworkers notice. Your reputation is built one ordinary moment at a time.</p><p><strong>Four Simple Words</strong></p><p>I came up with a question to ask myself when I&#8217;m having a bad interaction and I&#8217;m about to show my ass. It&#8217;s short and nowhere near grammatically correct, it&#8217;s actually pretty bad writing but it resonates with me.</p><p>&#8220;What&#8217;s best for you (them)?&#8221;</p><ul><li><p>Should I tell you you&#8217;re not doing a good job? What&#8217;s best for you?</p></li><li><p>Should I tweet I&#8217;ve had a bad experience with a business? What&#8217;s best for them?</p></li><li><p>Should I vent my frustration on an employee who had nothing to do with why I&#8217;m upset? What&#8217;s best for them?</p></li></ul><p>10 simple do&#8217;s and don&#8217;ts distilled down to four simple words.</p><p>Try it. The next time you&#8217;re interacting with another person, think to yourself &#8220;what&#8217;s best for him/her?&#8221; before you open your mouth.</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.deelauderdale.com/?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share Dee Lauderdale&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.deelauderdale.com/?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share"><span>Share Dee Lauderdale</span></a></p><div><hr></div><h4 style="text-align: center;">Proverbs for Men: Timeless Truths for Modern Challenges</h4><p>&#8220;Sensible people control their temper; they earn respect by overlooking wrongs.&#8221; Proverbs 19:11</p><div><hr></div><h4 style="text-align: center;">Man Law</h4><p style="text-align: center;">&#8220;Show Your Class Not Your Ass&#8221;-Coach Paul &#8220;Bear&#8221; Bryant</p><div class="subscription-widget-wrap-editor" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.deelauderdale.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe&quot;,&quot;language&quot;:&quot;en&quot;}" data-component-name="SubscribeWidgetToDOM"><div class="subscription-widget show-subscribe"><div class="preamble"><p class="cta-caption">Thanks for reading! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.</p></div><form class="subscription-widget-subscribe"><input type="email" class="email-input" name="email" placeholder="Type your email&#8230;" tabindex="-1"><input type="submit" class="button primary" value="Subscribe"><div class="fake-input-wrapper"><div class="fake-input"></div><div class="fake-button"></div></div></form></div></div>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[#19- In a World of Excuses, Be a Man of Your Word]]></title><description><![CDATA[Have you ever been on a private jet that flew you to the gulf coast for 3 days of deep sea fishing and golf, all paid for by someone else?]]></description><link>https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/19-in-a-world-of-excuses-be-a-man</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/19-in-a-world-of-excuses-be-a-man</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Dee Lauderdale]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Wed, 30 Sep 2026 20:36:03 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!gZDC!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fdfbc4b83-145e-4ee2-9601-57adddf98711_1242x1202.jpeg" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="image-gallery-embed" data-attrs="{&quot;gallery&quot;:{&quot;images&quot;:[{&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/dfbc4b83-145e-4ee2-9601-57adddf98711_1242x1202.jpeg&quot;}],&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;alt&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;staticGalleryImage&quot;:{&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/dfbc4b83-145e-4ee2-9601-57adddf98711_1242x1202.jpeg&quot;}},&quot;isEditorNode&quot;:true}"></div><p></p><p>Have you ever been on a private jet that flew you to the gulf coast for 3 days of deep sea fishing and golf, all paid for by someone else?</p><p>Me neither but I got close one time and that&#8217;s when I learned &#8220;the nature of promises is that they remain immune to changing circumstances&#8221; (that&#8217;s a great line from &#8220;House of Cards&#8221;).</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/19-in-a-world-of-excuses-be-a-man?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/19-in-a-world-of-excuses-be-a-man?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share"><span>Share</span></a></p><p>Here&#8217;s what happened.</p><p>I was a salesman and one of our suppliers wanted to say thank you for the millions we spent with them and they decided on a trip to Orange Beach. I got invited and said &#8220;yes!&#8221; immediately and couldn&#8217;t wait to get home to tell my wife. As soon as I told her about the trip she looked at the calendar and got a sad look on her face. She said &#8220;That&#8217;s Savanna&#8217;s pre-school graduation&#8221;, which means she was four years old.</p><p>I thought about it for a few days and even asked my wife if she thought I should go on the trip, and reminded her they were picking me up in a Lear jet! She said this was a decision I had to make.</p><p>Now, I had made a promise to myself when Savanna was born that I would never miss an event she was in unless I couldn&#8217;t walk. Now I was going to find out if I was a man of my word.</p><p>I finally decided I wasn&#8217;t going on the trip and went to work the next morning to let them know. The guy couldn&#8217;t believe I was walking away from three days of deep-sea fishing, golf, great food, and a private jet ride because of a preschool graduation. He even said &#8220;your daughter will never remember if you&#8217;re there or not&#8221;</p><p>I responded, &#8220;Maybe, but I will&#8221;</p><p>Now years later I know that every time you break your word, you remember. And every time you keep it, you become a little more of the man you want to be.</p><p>I&#8217;m not going to kid you, being a man of your word is HARD! And that&#8217;s why too many men don&#8217;t live out that value. If you decide to become a man of your word:</p><ul><li><p><strong>You&#8217;ll be inconvenienced</strong></p></li><li><p><strong>It will cost you money</strong></p></li><li><p><strong>You&#8217;ll have to do some things that you don&#8217;t want to do</strong></p></li></ul><p>&#8220;I promise&#8221; is a powerful phrase and shouldn&#8217;t be tossed around. Mean it when you say it.</p><p>If you still doubt it&#8217;s important to be a man of your word, think about this- How do you feel when someone breaks a promise to you?</p><p>What&#8217;s the best reputation to have? A man who keeps his word. A man who does exactly what he says he will do. Your reputation for keeping your word is so well known and proven over time, no one even thinks about needing a contract when dealing with you.</p><p>A man&#8217;s reputation isn&#8217;t built when keeping his word is easy. It&#8217;s built when keeping his word costs him something.</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.deelauderdale.com/?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share Dee Lauderdale&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.deelauderdale.com/?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share"><span>Share Dee Lauderdale</span></a></p><div><hr></div><p style="text-align: center;"><strong>Man Law</strong></p><p>Don&#8217;t promise when you&#8217;re happy.</p><p>Don&#8217;t reply when you&#8217;re angry.</p><p>Don&#8217;t decide when you&#8217;re sad.</p><div><hr></div><p style="text-align: center;"><strong>Proverbs for Men: Timeless Truths for Modern Challenges</strong></p><p> &#8220;Truthful words stand the test of time, but lies are soon exposed.&#8221; Proverbs 12:19</p><div class="subscription-widget-wrap-editor" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.deelauderdale.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe&quot;,&quot;language&quot;:&quot;en&quot;}" data-component-name="SubscribeWidgetToDOM"><div class="subscription-widget show-subscribe"><div class="preamble"><p class="cta-caption">Thanks for reading! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.</p></div><form class="subscription-widget-subscribe"><input type="email" class="email-input" name="email" placeholder="Type your email&#8230;" tabindex="-1"><input type="submit" class="button primary" value="Subscribe"><div class="fake-input-wrapper"><div class="fake-input"></div><div class="fake-button"></div></div></form></div></div>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[#18-Break the Cycle: 3 Non-Negotiable Rules to Dodge Poverty]]></title><description><![CDATA[Provider is one of the Big 3 roles for men, the other two being Protector and Leader, that&#8217;s why every man should understand how to keep himself&#8212;and the people who depend on him&#8212;out of poverty.]]></description><link>https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/18-break-the-cycle-3-non-negotiable</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/18-break-the-cycle-3-non-negotiable</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Dee Lauderdale]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Wed, 30 Sep 2026 20:34:45 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!QiG1!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fa6f55c92-3a92-4fdc-b95b-8362790f0d96_768x1024.jpeg" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="image-gallery-embed" data-attrs="{&quot;gallery&quot;:{&quot;images&quot;:[{&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/a6f55c92-3a92-4fdc-b95b-8362790f0d96_768x1024.jpeg&quot;}],&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;alt&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;staticGalleryImage&quot;:{&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/a6f55c92-3a92-4fdc-b95b-8362790f0d96_768x1024.jpeg&quot;}},&quot;isEditorNode&quot;:true}"></div><p></p><p>Provider is one of the Big 3 roles for men, the other two being Protector and Leader, that&#8217;s why every man should understand how to keep himself&#8212;and the people who depend on him&#8212;out of poverty.</p><p>So how does a guy avoid falling into poverty? Turns out it&#8217;s not that complicated. The Brookings Institution, a non-partisan think-tank, did a large study and discovered you can avoid poverty by following 3 rules:</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/18-break-the-cycle-3-non-negotiable?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/18-break-the-cycle-3-non-negotiable?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share"><span>Share</span></a></p><p><strong>1. Graduate from high school.</strong></p><p><strong>2. Wait to get married until after age 21 and don&#8217;t have children until you&#8217;re married.</strong></p><p><strong>3. Have a full-time job.</strong></p><p>The study found that men who followed those three rules faced only a 2% chance of falling into poverty. And as a bonus, you&#8217;ll have a 74% of being in the middle class.</p><p>The study shows it&#8217;s time to stop the false narrative that there are no more opportunities in America. Instead we need to focus on the role personal decisions have on staying out of the poorhouse. Some guys may call the values of hard work, perseverance and delaying gratification old-fashioned  but they are the cornerstones of success, no matter who you are.</p><p>Guys, it doesn&#8217;t matter where you came from, how many parents were or weren&#8217;t in your home, how pathetic your public school was or any of the other life factors that were out of your control, you can break the cycle! Poverty isn&#8217;t your destiny unless you choose that path.</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.deelauderdale.com/?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share Dee Lauderdale&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.deelauderdale.com/?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share"><span>Share Dee Lauderdale</span></a></p><div><hr></div><h4 style="text-align: center;">Man Law</h4><p>Instead of saving a nickel, use your time and energy to make a buck.</p><div><hr></div><h4 style="text-align: center;">The Wise Man&#8217;s Path</h4><p>&#8220;It&#8217;s good for a worker to have an appetite, an empty stomach drives them on.&#8221; Proverbs 16:26</p><div class="subscription-widget-wrap-editor" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.deelauderdale.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe&quot;,&quot;language&quot;:&quot;en&quot;}" data-component-name="SubscribeWidgetToDOM"><div class="subscription-widget show-subscribe"><div class="preamble"><p class="cta-caption">Thanks for reading! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.</p></div><form class="subscription-widget-subscribe"><input type="email" class="email-input" name="email" placeholder="Type your email&#8230;" tabindex="-1"><input type="submit" class="button primary" value="Subscribe"><div class="fake-input-wrapper"><div class="fake-input"></div><div class="fake-button"></div></div></form></div></div>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[#17-The Common Sense Crisis: Why So Many Men Make Bad Decisions]]></title><description><![CDATA[My late father-in-law Coy, had more common sense than most men.]]></description><link>https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/17-the-common-sense-crisis-why-so</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/17-the-common-sense-crisis-why-so</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Dee Lauderdale]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Wed, 30 Sep 2026 20:33:51 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!5IQ6!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe38945d1-cb5e-480e-8d91-7741fc1440bb_1086x724.jpeg" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="image-gallery-embed" data-attrs="{&quot;gallery&quot;:{&quot;images&quot;:[{&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/e38945d1-cb5e-480e-8d91-7741fc1440bb_1086x724.jpeg&quot;}],&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;alt&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;staticGalleryImage&quot;:{&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/e38945d1-cb5e-480e-8d91-7741fc1440bb_1086x724.jpeg&quot;}},&quot;isEditorNode&quot;:true}"></div><p></p><p>My late father-in-law Coy, had more common sense than most men. He started out life as a master electrician and he worked his way up to become head of facilities for a manufacturing plant. I think the primary reason he earned those promotions was his ability to solve problems. And that&#8217;s what common sense is, the ability to figure out the best course of action in a given set of circumstances.</p><p>I can still see him going through his process. He&#8217;d take his glasses out of his pocket, put them on. Then he&#8217;d look at whatever he was trying to fix or figure out from every angle and not say a word. Then after a few minutes, he&#8217;d have a simple, elegant solution.</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/17-the-common-sense-crisis-why-so?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/17-the-common-sense-crisis-why-so?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share"><span>Share</span></a></p><p>I usually felt like I was 5 years old when working with him on a project. Not because of how he treated me, but because I would never have come up with his solution. And it drove me nuts.</p><p>Like the time I wanted to add a light switch in the attic. I came up with an elaborate plan that I couldn&#8217;t wait to tell him. After listening to said brilliant plan, he had me go into the attic and describe what was up there. Coy thought about it for less than five minutes and showed me how to do it for ten dollars in under fifteen minutes. My way would have cost $100 and taken half a day. I even got a new receptacle because of his plan.</p><p>That&#8217;s common sense. And every man needs it.</p><p>Many guys think common sense is something you&#8217;re either born with or you&#8217;re not. Not true. Any man can develop it if he follows a few steps.</p><p><strong>The Biggest Step: Fail here and the rest won&#8217;t matter.</strong></p><p><strong>Common sense begins with seeing things as they are, not as you wish they were.</strong></p><p>Most poor decisions happen because a guy denies the facts. Men with common sense confront reality without hesitation. The faster you accept reality, the faster you can solve your problems.</p><p>Then you must follow these Dee&#8217;s Threes:</p><p><strong>Step 1: Slow Down</strong></p><p>Before making a significant decision see if you&#8217;re breaking one of these 3 rules:</p><ul><li><p>Don&#8217;t promise when you&#8217;re happy.</p></li><li><p>Don&#8217;t reply when you&#8217;re angry.</p></li><li><p>Don&#8217;t decide when you&#8217;re sad.</p></li></ul><p>My dad taught me to wait 24 hours before making non-urgent decisions involving large purchases or major commitments</p><p><strong>Step 2: Talk to men with different experiences and perspectives.</strong></p><p>One reason men lack common sense is they live inside an echo chamber. Don&#8217;t do that, instead get advice from older professionals, business owners, mentors and successful family members.</p><p>Don&#8217;t get defensive and don&#8217;t argue when you&#8217;re talking to them. I&#8217;m not saying you have to agree with everyone, but hearing different viewpoints will help you identify blind spots that can cost time, money or peace of mind.</p><p>Dee&#8217;s Threes when asking for advice.</p><ul><li><p>Ask great questions</p></li><li><p>Listen with intensity (make sure you have a notebook handy)</p></li><li><p>Apply what you learned even if it means a radical course correction.</p></li></ul><p><strong>Step 3: Focus on Consequences</strong></p><p>Every action has consequences, whether immediate or delayed. Common sense means thinking beyond the present moment.</p><p>Dee&#8217;s Three&#8217;s Consequences. Ask yourself these three questions before you make a decision:</p><p>What happens now?</p><p>What happens if things don&#8217;t work out?</p><p>What happens if things do work out?</p><p>Try to figure out as many of the possible outcomes before you act!</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.deelauderdale.com/?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share Dee Lauderdale&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.deelauderdale.com/?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share"><span>Share Dee Lauderdale</span></a></p><p><strong>Final Thought</strong></p><p>Common sense is not mysterious. It is the result of accepting reality, slowing down, asking others for input, and thinking about the consequences.  If you follow these steps day-in and day-out your judgment will improve dramatically over time.</p><p><strong>Bonus from Proverbs:</strong></p><p>My child, don&#8217;t lose sight of common sense and discernment. Hang on to them, for they will refresh your soul. They are like jewels on a necklace.<sup> </sup>They keep you safe on your way, and your feet will not stumble.<sup> </sup>You can go to bed without fear; you will lie down and sleep soundly. Proverbs 3:21:24</p><div class="subscription-widget-wrap-editor" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.deelauderdale.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe&quot;,&quot;language&quot;:&quot;en&quot;}" data-component-name="SubscribeWidgetToDOM"><div class="subscription-widget show-subscribe"><div class="preamble"><p class="cta-caption">Thanks for reading! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.</p></div><form class="subscription-widget-subscribe"><input type="email" class="email-input" name="email" placeholder="Type your email&#8230;" tabindex="-1"><input type="submit" class="button primary" value="Subscribe"><div class="fake-input-wrapper"><div class="fake-input"></div><div class="fake-button"></div></div></form></div></div>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[#16-Why Faith Remains Essential to the Gentleman’s Way of Life]]></title><description><![CDATA[Faith shapes the values, character, and conduct of gentlemen and provides the moral compass that guides their actions and relationships.]]></description><link>https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/16-why-faith-remains-essential-to</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/16-why-faith-remains-essential-to</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Dee Lauderdale]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Wed, 30 Sep 2026 20:32:52 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!bAZw!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2cbf55a2-7447-44e6-8b9c-13f2f2560838_766x1026.jpeg" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="image-gallery-embed" data-attrs="{&quot;gallery&quot;:{&quot;images&quot;:[{&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/2cbf55a2-7447-44e6-8b9c-13f2f2560838_766x1026.jpeg&quot;}],&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;alt&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;staticGalleryImage&quot;:{&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/2cbf55a2-7447-44e6-8b9c-13f2f2560838_766x1026.jpeg&quot;}},&quot;isEditorNode&quot;:true}"></div><p></p><p>Faith shapes the values, character, and conduct of gentlemen and provides the moral compass that guides their actions and relationships.</p><p>A great example is the book of Proverbs because it is one of the greatest books ever written for training men. Here are several lessons my faith has taught me through Proverbs.</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/16-why-faith-remains-essential-to?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/16-why-faith-remains-essential-to?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share"><span>Share</span></a></p><p><strong>A strong faith provides a clear sense of right and wrong</strong>. A gentleman acts with honesty and integrity, even when it&#8217;s unpopular or costs them something. When I make a decision grounded in my faith, I&#8217;lI remain committed to that decision</p><p>How do I know what the right thing to do is? Read Proverbs:</p><p><em>&#8220;Their purpose is to teach people to live disciplined and successful lives, to help them do what is right, just, and fair.&#8221; </em>Proverbs 1:3</p><p><strong>Faith also encourages humility.</strong> As a result, a gentleman guided by faith understands the importance of treating everyone with kindness and respect regardless of background, race or socioeconomic status. Humility prevents arrogance and cultivates genuine compassion for others.</p><p><em>&#8220;Pride ends in humiliation, while humility brings honor.&#8221;</em> Proverbs 29:23</p><p><strong>Another reason faith is critical is that it promotes a spirit of service.</strong> Biblical faith calls men to seek opportunities to help those in need. Men can serve through charitable work, mentoring younger men, supporting neighbors during difficult times, and serving in their local church. Proverbs motivates a gentleman to become servants who get their hands dirty to serve others.</p><p><em>&#8220;Do not withhold good from those who deserve it when it&#8217;s in your power to help them.&#8221; </em>Proverbs 3:27</p><p><strong>Faith builds resilience for life&#8217;s challenges. </strong>Every man faces setbacks, disappointments, and hardships at multiple times during his life.  A strong faith gives a gentleman the inner strength to remain calm under pressure, persevere through adversity, and fulfill their responsibilities. They can draw upon their faith for guidance and encouragement instead of being overwhelmed by their current circumstances.</p><p><em>&#8220;The godly may trip seven times, but they will get up again. But one disaster is enough to overthrow the wicked.&#8221; </em>Proverbs 24:16</p><p>A strong faith is the cornerstone of a gentleman&#8217;s way of life because it cultivates integrity, humility, service, and resilience. When faith guides a man&#8217;s actions, he is better equipped to uphold the traditions of respect, responsibility, and moral leadership. In a world that often rewards self-interest and expediency, faith anchors a gentleman to principles that endure.</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.deelauderdale.com/?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share Dee Lauderdale&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.deelauderdale.com/?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share"><span>Share Dee Lauderdale</span></a></p><div><hr></div><p></p><h4 style="text-align: center;"><strong>Man Skill</strong></h4><p style="text-align: center;">This I know: God is on my side! Psalm 56:9</p><div class="subscription-widget-wrap-editor" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.deelauderdale.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe&quot;,&quot;language&quot;:&quot;en&quot;}" data-component-name="SubscribeWidgetToDOM"><div class="subscription-widget show-subscribe"><div class="preamble"><p class="cta-caption">Thanks for reading! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.</p></div><form class="subscription-widget-subscribe"><input type="email" class="email-input" name="email" placeholder="Type your email&#8230;" tabindex="-1"><input type="submit" class="button primary" value="Subscribe"><div class="fake-input-wrapper"><div class="fake-input"></div><div class="fake-button"></div></div></form></div></div>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[#15-Dads, your kids should run to you - not away from you]]></title><description><![CDATA[Steel is a gorgeous black lab.]]></description><link>https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/15-dads-your-kids-should-run-to-you</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/15-dads-your-kids-should-run-to-you</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Dee Lauderdale]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Wed, 30 Sep 2026 20:18:53 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!sbjH!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F76d7808d-dc18-4fcb-abcd-5c8ce4e3041b_860x860.jpeg" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="image-gallery-embed" data-attrs="{&quot;gallery&quot;:{&quot;images&quot;:[{&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/76d7808d-dc18-4fcb-abcd-5c8ce4e3041b_860x860.jpeg&quot;}],&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;alt&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;staticGalleryImage&quot;:{&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/76d7808d-dc18-4fcb-abcd-5c8ce4e3041b_860x860.jpeg&quot;}},&quot;isEditorNode&quot;:true}"></div><p></p><p>Steel is a gorgeous black lab. He weighs 100 pounds and used to be a solid duck dog until my youngest daughter got her hands on him. To be fair, I warned my son-in-law this would happen.</p><p>Now, instead of wagging his tail because he might fetch a duck in the middle of January, he wipes out coffee tables.</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/15-dads-your-kids-should-run-to-you?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/15-dads-your-kids-should-run-to-you?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share"><span>Share</span></a></p><p>Steel is good natured, gentle, and fiercely protective of my daughter and grandson. He obeys anyone who gives him a command, but he watches my son-in-law for direction.</p><p>I think my son-in-law is a dog whisperer. Not only because Steel is so well behaved, but because he can even make our unruly, argumentative corgi Archie behave.</p><p>I asked him what his secret was, and he told me one of the first things he teaches a puppy is to run to him whenever the dog is scared or senses something unusual. No matter what, he teaches his dogs to run to him, not from him.</p><p>How? He feeds the dog, protects the dog, and gives the dog boundaries. The dog learns to see him as the safest place in the world.</p><p>Some human dads could learn a thing or two from this.</p><p>Raise your sons and daughters in such a way that even when they mess up, their first instinct is to run to you.</p><p>One way I tried to do this was by making a promise to both my girls when they became teenagers: they could call me anytime, no matter where they were, and I would come get them. Even if they were someplace they weren&#8217;t supposed to be.</p><p>I promised I wouldn&#8217;t yell when I picked them up. We&#8217;d talk about what happened after everyone got some sleep.</p><p>I never had to keep that promise, but I like to think I would have.</p><p>Dads, make sure your kids know they can come to you with anything &#8212; especially when they&#8217;ve screwed up.</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.deelauderdale.com/?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share Dee Lauderdale&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.deelauderdale.com/?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share"><span>Share Dee Lauderdale</span></a></p><p></p><div><hr></div><p style="text-align: center;"><strong>Man Skill</strong></p><p>Wise men talk because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.</p><div class="subscription-widget-wrap-editor" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.deelauderdale.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe&quot;,&quot;language&quot;:&quot;en&quot;}" data-component-name="SubscribeWidgetToDOM"><div class="subscription-widget show-subscribe"><div class="preamble"><p class="cta-caption">Thanks for reading! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support my work.</p></div><form class="subscription-widget-subscribe"><input type="email" class="email-input" name="email" placeholder="Type your email&#8230;" tabindex="-1"><input type="submit" class="button primary" value="Subscribe"><div class="fake-input-wrapper"><div class="fake-input"></div><div class="fake-button"></div></div></form></div></div>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[#14-Mentors Shorten Your Learning Curve]]></title><description><![CDATA[Do you know why the number 4120 is important?]]></description><link>https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/14-mentors-shorten-your-learning</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/14-mentors-shorten-your-learning</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Dee Lauderdale]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Wed, 30 Sep 2026 20:17:40 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!R4qw!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F74d59e51-9da3-47e2-90f7-15ac1abb5d8d_1086x724.jpeg" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="image-gallery-embed" data-attrs="{&quot;gallery&quot;:{&quot;images&quot;:[{&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/74d59e51-9da3-47e2-90f7-15ac1abb5d8d_1086x724.jpeg&quot;}],&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;alt&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;staticGalleryImage&quot;:{&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/74d59e51-9da3-47e2-90f7-15ac1abb5d8d_1086x724.jpeg&quot;}},&quot;isEditorNode&quot;:true}"></div><p></p><p>Do you know why the number 4120 is important?</p><p>That&#8217;s how many weeks the average guy gets on earth. That can seem like a lot or not that many depending on how old you are. I&#8217;m 61 or 3172 weeks old, so it sounds like just the blink of an eye.</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/14-mentors-shorten-your-learning?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.deelauderdale.com/p/14-mentors-shorten-your-learning?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share"><span>Share</span></a></p><p>4120 proves no man has enough time to make every mistake so he can learn the answers. Contrary to what you might have heard, experience is not the best teacher. Other people&#8217;s experience is the best teacher. Learning from other people&#8217;s experiences is the smartest way to shorten your learning curve.</p><p>Mentors are the best way to learn from other people&#8217;s experience.</p><p>Mentors compress decades into months. They tell you what&#8217;s over the hill you&#8217;re barrelling towards at top speed. A great mentor will spot your blind spots and warn you before they wreck you.</p><p>Mentors don&#8217;t just teach you what not to do, they introduce you to opportunities you&#8217;d never consider.</p><p>Mentors do what no self-help book or Youtube video can do-they show you what integrity, leadership, and character look like in the flesh.</p><p>Some of the greatest and most successful men in history leveraged the power of mentors. Alexander the Great had Aristotle, Henry David Thoreau had Ralph Waldo Emerson, and Mark Zuckerberg had Steve Jobs. These men knew going alone isn&#8217;t admirable, it&#8217;s inefficient and arrogant</p><p>Here&#8217;s a few thoughts on mentors:</p><p><strong>You&#8217;ll need more than one.</strong> It&#8217;s highly unlikely you&#8217;ll find one man who is a superstar at everything. Find a mentor for career guidance, another for marriage and family, another for how to manage your money.</p><p><strong>Most mentor worthy men are waiting for you to ask.</strong> These high quality men will never insert themselves into your life without an invitation. So quit worrying about rejection.</p><p><strong>Be prepared when you meet with a mentor. </strong>Have a plan of what you want to talk about when you sit down with your mentor. An even better plan is to send a list of questions to him beforehand so he&#8217;ll be able to give you the best parts of his scars of experience. And it should go without saying, you ALWAYS pick up the check.</p><p><strong>There is no expiration date on when a man needs a mentor.</strong> Any man can learn at any age. There are always men further down the trail of life than you!</p><p>One final thought, no matter what age you are, there are men who look up to you. Be ready to say &#8220;yes&#8221; when one of them asks you to mentor them.</p><p>Start today. Identify one potential mentor this week. Take action before any more of your 4120 weeks slip away. Find mentors, absorb their wisdom, and build the impactful life you were meant for. Your future self and everyone who depends on you, will thank you.</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.deelauderdale.com/?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share Dee Lauderdale&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.deelauderdale.com/?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share"><span>Share Dee Lauderdale</span></a></p><div><hr></div><p></p><p style="text-align: center;"><strong>One Small Step For Men&#8230;.</strong></p><p>You don&#8217;t have to attend every argument you&#8217;re invited to.</p><div class="subscription-widget-wrap-editor" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.deelauderdale.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe&quot;,&quot;language&quot;:&quot;en&quot;}" data-component-name="SubscribeWidgetToDOM"><div class="subscription-widget show-subscribe"><div class="preamble"><p class="cta-caption">Thanks for reading! 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