This is a true story:
In 1998, NASA launched the Mars Climate Orbiter, expecting it to reach Mars about nine months later. It never made it. The spacecraft entered Mars’s atmosphere too low and was lost.
NASA’s investigation found a critical communication failure: Lockheed Martin used inches, feet, and pounds, but NASA used millimeters, meters, and kilograms when writing the software that controlled the guidance system. The miscommunication caused errors in the calculations needed to put the orbiter in the correct Martian orbit for a successful landing.
In plain English, nobody thought to say, “If I understand you correctly…”
The moral of the story is simple: a miscommunication can have massive, negative consequences.
Can I get an amen?
I don’t know a man who hasn’t made a bad decision or damaged a relationship because he failed to ask, “If I understand you correctly…”. You need to understand those five simple words can save you embarrassment, money, time, and relationships.
The Big Idea
Before reacting, repeat back what you heard to confirm you understood it correctly. This can prevent conflict, protect relationships, and make the other person feel heard. When a man skips this step, he can damage friendships, strain a marriage, or even jeopardize his job.
Why? Instead of listening, we’re simply planning what we’re going to say. And that is how miscommunications can happen.
Guys, good things happen when we use five magic words: “If I understand you correctly…”
You give the speaker a chance to clarify a clumsy statement or cool down and try again.
You avoid overreacting and having to apologize later.
You avoid falsely accusing someone, or supporting someone who is twisting what was really said.
You show respect, and the other person feels heard.
A Few Practical Tips
Don’t substitute, “What did you say?” for “If I understand you correctly…” The phrases are not interchangeable. “What did you say?” can sound confrontational and raise the emotional temperature of the conversation.
Do repeat the person’s words as close to verbatim as possible. Don’t add assumptions, exaggerations, or your own interpretation.
Proverbs for the Modern Man
Pride leads to disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom. Proverbs 11:2
Man Skills
Always be humble and kind