From the category archives:

My Life

Remember the first week you went back to elementary school after summer break? Two things were guaranteed to happen: you would get a new lunch box and you’d have to write a paper titled “How I Spent My Summer Vacation”. I know we’re only half-way through summer and I’m not going back to school but I wanted to let you know why I haven’t been blogging for the last couple of months.

First, a little background that might help it all make sense. In November of 2008, after 11 years, I stopped working in churches or being “in the ministry” as all good Baptists would say. The reasons why aren’t important, but if you’re curious check out Fish Bowl.  Anyway, I went back to the marketplace and decided to just chill for a while.

It didn’t take long before I started getting the itch again, not to start working in a church but to do something. I had gone from working 60-hour weeks and then stewing about work while I was at home, to walking out the door on Friday at 5 and not thinking about work until I went back on Monday. In fact, I just finished a great 10-day vacation without getting a single phone call or email from work. To tell you the truth, it was a little weird. A few days ago my wife was talking to someone who used to work with me and said “Sometimes he doesn’t know what to do with himself.” That was a great synopsis of the last few months. I’ve been trying to figure out what to do with myself.

I narrowed the list of possibilities down to two things: a consulting service to help churches by doing secret shopper visits and teaching/training men. Great! I had it. But in a just a few days the nagging feeling of being unfocused returned, so I decided to try doing nothing. No blogging, no trying to get secret shopper visits with churches, I stopped working on my book, nothing.

I honestly didn’t do this with the purest of motives. In the back of my head I was thinking “Once God see’s me doing nothing He’ll go Old Testament on me and reveal what I’m supposed to do with some grand display, maybe I’ll even get a burning bush”. So I waited. And Waited. After a few weeks it became apparent that I had seriously misjudged God. He was taking the very parental strategy of allowing me to do what I wanted. If I wanted to sit doing nothing, that was fine with Him, He’d wait me out. And you know what? He did.

Inactivity finally got the best of me, so I did the only thing I knew to do, I sat down and did a pro’s and con’s list of the two opportunities because I had to choose. There weren’t enough hours in the day for me to do both effectively. In the end the decision came down to be realizing that I could help churches do Sunday mornings better, I have the abilities and experience to help pastors get their systems working better. OR I could train up men to help them. To me teaching/training men has more capacity to make the largest impact.

So I shut down the secret shopper part of my website. I purchased an iPhone 4 because of the front-facing camera which will make doing videos much easier.  I literally took my Moleskine out, turned to a blank page and asked the question “How can I teach/train men?” No preconceived notions, no thinking I had to do it a certain way, just a “clean sheet of paper” approach to a huge project.

One of the first realizations I had is I’m going to have to say “no” to some things I’ve been doing that aren’t bad, they just don’t fit the mission. I’ve got a few more commitments to finish up in the next few weeks that I won’t be re-upping for and that’s a good thing. It’s step one to gaining focus and I think it’s the step that so many guys stumble on because they wrongly think they’ll be letting people down.

One thing is for sure; I know what to do with myself now. And that’s how I spent my summer vacation.

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I’ve noticed a disturbing trend over the last few years: everything is a catastrophe. Everything is the end of the world. Every mistake is a firing offense. Every piece of legislation that get’s passed is going to be the end of America. Every Supreme Court decision is the result of a conspiracy and is the final step in the removal of all of our rights. Every talking head on radio or TV is screaming about how President ______________ is working on a top secret plan to destroy the US. In other words, the world is being overrun by Drama Queens.

Here’s some recent headlines and quotes that really illustrate what I’m talking about:

“Almost a quarter of Republicans think Obama ‘may be the Antichrist’ as 14 states sue over healthcare reforms”

“Lawmakers concerned as health-care overhaul foes resort to violence”

“Clyburn: Health Care Opponents Aiding Terrorism”

“Bill O’Reilly: Obama wants ‘Nanny State’, MSNBC Hires ‘Bad People’, ‘Guttersnipes’

Blah, Blah, Blah, Yadda, Yadda, Yadda. Enough all ready! What’s happened is these folks are beginning to sound like the boy who cried wolf in the old children’s story. Remember what happened? After so many false alarms, eventually people stopped listening. That’s what’s happening today with Drama Queens, they dilute their message when they say everything is a catastrophe. The sad part is the stuff that really is serious, gets ignored.

It doesn’t matter if you’re a teapartyer (I think I just invented a word), democratic apologist, mad church member or talk radio superstar, if you cry wolf on every issue, eventually people will tune you out. You’ll just fade into the background noises of the world.

What do you think? Agree or Disagree?

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OK, that’s a horrible title but it does communicate how a lot of guys feel, like they are just spinning their life wheels. Lots of activity, doing lots of stuff but not really accomplishing anything. I know I do and right now there’s one area of my life where I desperately want focus but just can’t seem to dial it in. That’s what this video is all about. BTW, sorry about the wind noise.

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Take a Chance

Sometimes the best way to help a young guy make the transition to manhood is to take a chance on him. Check out how a guy took a chance on me.

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Tip For The Band

A couple of weeks ago I went to Nashville to hang out with a friend of mine, Isaac, who’s trying to break into the country music biz.  He wanted to show me around and take me to hear some good music. We went to one place called “Roberts Western World” and heard an amazing band, [...]

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