There are a ton of guys working a job they hate. But I don’t think all of them hate their job as much as they are working a job that doesn’t line up with their passions. There’s nothing worse than going to a job that you know does not fit you. Maybe it did a some point but not now. So what do you do? How do you discover what your passions? I ran across this basic idea on a website called www.zenhabits.net and thought I’d use part of it.
1. What are you good at? Take 30 minutes and honestly evaluate what you’re good at. Don’t be afraid to ask friends and family to give their answers.
2. What excites you? What was the last thing that really pumped you up? Try to identify those times in your life when you couldn’t wait to get to a job, an event, or whatever.
3. What do you read about? What websites do you got to every day? What blogs do you regularly read? What magazines do you subscribe to?
4. What have you secretly dreamed of doing? What are the jobs/activities you’ve always dreamed of doing?
5. Learn, ask, take notes. Now that you’ve got a list, narrow it down to one and then start researching it Read books, Google it, find whatever information you can. Then talk to people who are already doing it. Ask questions and take lots of notes. But don’t only talk to people who are successful, interview at least one person who failed. You’ll be amazed at how much you can learn from other people’s failures.
6. Experiment, try. At some point you’ll have to stop researching and actually do it. Look for low risk ways to try your passion out. Volunteer, part-time, be creative.
7. Narrow things down. You’ll probably have to try more than one to narrow the list down to THE one.
8. Banish your fears. At this point you’ll probably be scarred to death. Partly from doubting yourself, partly from other people doubting you and partly from the basic human fear of change. A great question to ask that will help you deal with fear is “what’s the worst that can happen?” You’ll be surprised that the answer is not as catastrophic as you might imagine.
9. How to make a living doing it. Once you’ve discovered the passion in your life, figure out a way to make a living do it. You’ll be surprised how many ways you’ll uncover.
Living from passion is the most fulfilling way to live. Go for it!
Every man feels over-scheduled, over-committed, over-worked with not much to show for all his effort. Most men also don’t know what to say when there’s a new opportunity for him consider. Here are two questions that will help you with both. If you’ll use these two questions as a filter to evaluate new opportunities you will develop a more sustainable pace of life.
Question #1: CAN I DO IT?
Do you have the abilities, time, interest to do take advantage of this opportunity? Can I do the job I’m being offered? Can I play softball? This is the first question you have to answer.
Question #2: SHOULD I DO IT?
Just because I can do something doesn’t mean I should do it. I can do the job but is this the right time to make a job change? How will it affect my home life? If you’ve got young kids, should you play softball this season?
A side benefit of asking these two questions, is it will give you the ability and reason to say “no” and not allow yourself to be manipulated into doing something.
There you go, two very simple questions to help you regain control of your life.
One the biggest ways men and women are different is how they keep score, especially when it comes to doing stuff for your spouse. Let’s be honest, everybody keeps score to some degree. If you don’t keep score for what your spouse has done for you then you DO keep score for what you do for them. Every time you do something that you’re not “supposed to do” you mentally mark it down. When guys do it, we assign point values:
Pickup your dirty underwear=2 points
Throw away your reaaaaallllly dirty underwear=15 points
Take your wife to a restaurant that doesn’t have a playground=25 points
Say “I Love You” when the sun is up=50 points (some of your will have to think about that one)
Most guys keep a running total in their heads that they know better than their checking account balance (if this is you, stop it! Balance your checkbook NOW). The reason is this helps them plan their lives. If the balance is high he can get away with playing golf Saturday AND Sunday but if the balance is low, he won’t even try to change channels without asking.
It’s kind of funny but the whole scorekeeping thing is the source of a lot of arguments. The reason is women keep score differently and that means no guy’s balance is anywhere near as high as he thinks. For women everything is 1 point. No matter what you did with your dirty underwear, it’s 1 point . Ruth’s Criss or Mickey Dees, 1 point (ok that’s too extreme, maybe it’s more like Cracker Barrel or Chic-fil-a). The point is, women see all acts of kindness the same. So don’t get caught off guard thinking your account is bigger than it is.
Or here’s a radical idea, stop keeping score. Do special things for your wife because you love her and want to do nice things for her.
Here’s a verse from the bible to keep in mind.
“In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together…… “1 Peter 3:7
One more thing, if you want to wipe out your 1 point, tell your wife/girlfriend what you did. If you run up to her and say “Guess what honey? I put my dirty underwear IN the clothes hamper”, you can kiss your one point goodbye.
