There’s something going on in church circles that really has me confused. It happens when a minister or pastor commits adultery and is fired from their church, especially if the person had fairly high profile. The first thing that happens is people generally choose one of two teams.
The first team is the “the Bible says don’t judge” team. They don’t want the person to suffer any significant consequences. Usually because their lives have been touched in a significant way by the work of the pastor. But this isn’t biblical. The bible is very clear that pastors/elders/leaders are held to a higher standard. Which is how it should be.
The second team is the “this person is permanently removed from leadership” team. They think that it’s a one strike and you’re out policy. In their minds the pastor is benched forever.
OK, that’s all fine, but it’s what happens next that confuses me. If the pastor/minister begins to rebuild his life, especially if he/she talks about it online, there is a group of people who get ticked off. I mean furious. They say things like “He hasn’t really repented” or “I don’t see any outward evidence that he’s sorry” or my personal favorite “he’s not sorry that he did it, he’s just sorry that he got caught”. There’s an underlying theme to every comment: he’s not sorry enough.
In the Old Testament people would put on sackcloth and pour ashes on their heads to show their sorrow and repentance. I get the impression that there are some people who want a 2010 equivalent.
I’ve got two friends who have been through this. One was very prominent because he pastored a mega-church. The other was prominent because he was very active blogging and on Twitter and he lead a new church that was exploding.
Both guys had adulterous affairs. Both were fired. Both lost their wives. Both did significant damage to their children. Both have publicly confessed. Both will forever deal with the consequences of their adultery.
Both also are back leading churches. They are also both back in the internet public eye. They are trying to rebuild their lives and there are significant numbers of people who are ticked off because they are.
I’ve seen posts online about each of these guys that have this undercurrent of “he’s not sorry enough” and I don’t understand that sentiment. There also seems to be a punitive theme to the comments. They want these pastors to suffer. I can’t speak for every pastor who’s have an affair but I know my two friends have suffered and continue to suffer, but they are not going to let that define them. They are trying to move on and tell people about Jesus.
I think the problem is that too many church folks have forgotten about Scripture really teaches about repentance and sin. We’ve forgotten that Jesus told a woman caught in the very act of adultery to go and sin no more. We’ve forgotten that God is the only one to really know the condition of a human heart. But mostly what these folks are saying by their actions is that we don’t trust God to handle the situation and He needs us to step in for Him. Believe me, that’s the last thing He needs. God has shown Himself capable of disciplining His kids for thousands of years. He’ll deal with people who haven’t really repented, so we are free to re-purpose our time for more Kingdom minded pursuits.
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