#17-The Common Sense Crisis: Why So Many Men Make Bad Decisions
#17-The Common Sense Crisis: Why So Many Men Make Bad Decisions
My late father-in-law Coy, had more common sense than most men. He started out life as a master electrician and he worked his way up to become head of facilities for a manufacturing plant. I think the primary reason he earned those promotions was his ability to solve problems. And that’s what common sense is, the ability to figure out the best course of action in a given set of circumstances.
I can still see him going through his process. He'd take his glasses out of his pocket, put them on. Then he'd look at whatever he was trying to fix or figure out from every angle and not say a word. Then after a few minutes, he'd have a simple, elegant solution.
I usually felt like I was 5 years old when working with him on a project. Not because of how he treated me, but because I would never have come up with his solution. And it drove me nuts.
Like the time I wanted to add a light switch in the attic. I came up with an elaborate plan that I couldn’t wait to tell him. After listening to said brilliant plan, he had me go into the attic and describe what was up there. Coy thought about it for less than five minutes and showed me how to do it for ten dollars in under fifteen minutes. My way would have cost $100 and taken half a day. I even got a new receptacle because of his plan.
That's common sense. And every man needs it.
Many guys think common sense is something you're either born with or you’re not. Not true. Any man can develop it if he follows a few steps.
The Biggest Step: Fail here and the rest won't matter.
Common sense begins with seeing things as they are, not as you wish they were.
Most poor decisions happen because a guy denies the facts. Men with common sense confront reality without hesitation. The faster you accept reality, the faster you can solve your problems.
Then you must follow these Dee’s Threes:
Step 1: Slow Down
Before making a significant decision see if you’re breaking one of these 3 rules:
Don't promise when you're happy.
Don't reply when you're angry.
Don't decide when you're sad.
My dad taught me to wait 24 hours before making non-urgent decisions involving large purchases or major commitments
Step 2: Talk to men with different experiences and perspectives.
One reason men lack common sense is they live inside an echo chamber. Don’t do that, instead get advice from older professionals, business owners, mentors and successful family members.
Don’t get defensive and don’t argue when you’re talking to them. I’m not saying you have to agree with everyone, but hearing different viewpoints will help you identify blind spots that can cost time, money or peace of mind.
Dee’s Threes when asking for advice.
Ask great questions
Listen with intensity (make sure you have a notebook handy)
Apply what you learned even if it means a radical course correction.
Step 3: Focus on Consequences
Every action has consequences, whether immediate or delayed. Common sense means thinking beyond the present moment.
Dee’s Three’s Consequences. Ask yourself these three questions before you make a decision:
What happens now?
What happens if things don't work out?
What happens if things do work out?
Try to figure out as many of the possible outcomes before you act!
Final Thought
Common sense is not mysterious. It is the result of accepting reality, slowing down, asking others for input, and thinking about the consequences. If you follow these steps day-in and day-out your judgment will improve dramatically over time.
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The Wise Man's Path
My child, don’t lose sight of common sense and discernment. Hang on to them, for they will refresh your soul. They are like jewels on a necklace. They keep you safe on your way, and your feet will not stumble. You can go to bed without fear; you will lie down and sleep soundly. Proverbs 3:21:24
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Man Skills
If you're the smartest man in the room, you're in the wrong room