#21-Why Smart Men Meet Around a Table Instead of Arguing Online
I look forward to the third Monday night of every month because that’s when I meet with a group of men around a table filled with good food and good drink. We call it “Veritas” and for 2 to 3 hours we talk about politics, geopolitical events, morality, the current state of the world and a few other topics.
We have one rule, “thou shalt not be easily offended.”
This is the opposite of what passes for debate on social media, which is posting a “hot take”, then running for the hills or blocking comments.
After hours of Facebook, X or Reddit, most men have forgotten how to disagree without becoming enemies.
The solution is we need to bring back one of civilization's oldest traditions: men gathered around a table sharpening one another.
If this sounds like a good way to spend an evening but you don’t know how to start or how to structure the gatherings, one our founding fathers left you the blueprint almost 300 years ago.
In 1727, 21-year-old Benjamin Franklin started a group of twelve men called the Junto. They met every Friday night for one purpose: mutual improvement. Every man brought questions. Every man helped the others become wiser, more useful, and more virtuous.
Here’s how Franklin described Junto in his autobiography:
“ The rules that I drew up required that every member, in his turn, should produce one or more queries on any point of Morals, Politics, or Natural Philosophy, to be discuss'd by the company;....
Our debates were to be under the direction of a president, and to be conducted in the sincere spirit of inquiry after truth, without fondness for dispute or desire of victory; …..”
I love the questions Franklin came up with to guide the weekly meetings. There are 24 of them but here are my favorites:
Have you met with anything in the author you last read, remarkable, or suitable to be communicated to the Junto? particularly in history, morality, poetry, physic, travels, mechanic arts, or other parts of knowledge.
Hath any citizen in your knowledge failed in his business lately, and what have you heard of the cause?
Have you lately heard of any citizen’s thriving well, and by what means?
Do you know of any fellow citizen, who has lately done a worthy action, deserving praise and imitation? or who has committed an error proper for us to be warned against and avoid?
Do you think of any thing at present, in which the Junto may be serviceable to mankind? to their country, to their friends, or to themselves?
Do you know of any deserving young beginner lately set up, whom it lies in the power of the Junto any way to encourage?
Hath anybody attacked your reputation lately? and what can the Junto do towards securing it?
In what manner can the Junto, or any of them, assist you in any of your honourable designs?
Have you any weighty affair in hand, in which you think the advice of the Junto may be of service?
Do you see any thing amiss in the present customs or proceedings of the Junto, which might be amended?
When I read the list there are 2 main lessons:
First, the best and fastest way to learn is to learn from other men’s experience. Or as Otto von Bismarck said-
“Fools learn from experience. I prefer to learn from the experience of others.”
The second lesson is gentlemen look out for and support their friends. King Solomon wanted to be sure his son understood this when he wrote:
“There are “friends” who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.” Proverbs 18:24
Every month millions of men waste an evening arguing with strangers online.
Gather five or six friends instead.
Turn off the phones.
Put good food on the table.
Ask better questions.
Leave wiser than you arrived.
Benjamin Franklin did it almost 300 years ago.
We still need it today.
Get started this week! Use Franklin’s questions or contact me at dee@deelauderdale.com and I’ll tell you how we do it at Veritas.