#24-Are You an Example—or a Warning?
One day your kid and eventually your grandkids will answer a question about you when you're not in the room. Were you an example or a warning?
I’ve thought about this question a lot over the years. First when both of my girls were born and recently when my grandsons came along. Because the boys will hear stories about me one day, I want those stories to make them want to become men like their Saba (my grandfather name), not spend their lives avoiding my mistakes.
And I know I’m not the only guy who has thought about it.
Mike Cooley of Drive-By Truckers once admitted he worries whether his son sees his life as an example or a warning. In one song he writes, "If I'd been my own example I'd be worse."
Here’s what he said about the song, “Even as I was trying to write it I was looking out the window at him(his son) in the driveway thinking, “ I’ve made so many mistakes, done so many things that could’ve gone so bad, why should he listen to any advice I had..?” I think that’s his way of saying he believes he’s been more warning than example.
I understood exactly what Cooley was saying.
Ever wonder what your kids would honestly say about your life? Do they say you're an example to follow or a warning of what to avoid?
When I'm tempted to cut a corner, lose my temper, or make a selfish decision, I picture Bennett, Henry, and Mason and how my daughters would explain my choices to them. I never want them to have to say, "Don't do what Saba did.”
That thought stops me cold because that’s not the legacy I want to leave.
None of us has a perfect record. The question isn't whether you've failed. It's what you'll do next.
It matters because your kids are watching and one day your grandkids will hear the stories.
Starting today, give them an example worth following instead of a warning of how not to live.
Proverbs for Men: Timeless Truths for Modern Challenges
Choose a good reputation over great riches; being held in high esteem is better than silver or gold. Proverbs 22:1
Man Law
Speak only when you're sure what you’re going to say will be better than silence