#7-Why Does She Do That?

Brain scans, controlled studies, evolutionary psychology, and anthropology all prove men and women are physically & mentally different. Which makes sense because both sexes were created with different priorities and roles. The good news is we are soaked in specific combinations of hormones that help us do what we're designed to do. 

The bad news is we forget this and misinterpret why the opposite sex does what they do. I would not be surprised if most of the conflicts in marriage, family, or work situations are because we don’t understand these differences.  

So do the women in your world a favor and take a look at a partial list of differences and remember them the next time your wife does something that baffles you. 

• Avg woman speaks 20k words a day, the avg man speaks 7k words a day

• When a man is in the deepest part of his sleep cycle, 70% of his brain shuts down. That's why he doesn’t hear the baby cry. When a woman is the deepest part of her sleep cycle, 90% of her brain is still active

• Men don’t see colors women see because of 2 X chromosomes 

• Women have 180 degree peripheral vision while men have better long range vision. This is why women can see the entire contents of the refrigerator without moving her head.

• A woman’s skin is 10 times more sensitive than a man’s. They like to cuddle, touch, hug

• When a man is reading he is virtually deaf. He must turn off the hearing part to activate the reading part of the brain. We leave one room, close the door then open the door to another room. A woman can have all the doors in her brain open at the same time.

• Men have singular focus, we like to do one thing at a time. Here’s a pro tip for the ladies: tell him to do one thing at a time. Let him finish, then give him something else to do.

A few more:

Groups of boys play differently than groups of girls.

Boy Facts:

larger play groups

focus on the game itself

very competitive

confrontational

establish dominance & test hierarchies

claim territory and monopolize toys

more likely to use threats

Girl Facts:

focus on relationship building

take turns 20 times more often than boys do

more likely to make collaborative proposals (like starting their sentences with “let's”)

their pretend play is usually about caregiving and relationships

The most interesting thing about group play is boys and girls naturally segregate. This only changes when there's not enough kids, then boys and girls all play together. 

Men and women are not empathetic in the same way

We have two emotional systems: the mirror neuron system (MNS) and the temporal-parietal junction system (TPJ). The MNS is responsible for emotional empathy- it helps one feel what the other person is feeling. The TPJ is responsible for cognitive empathy- it helps one distance themselves from the person's emotions, focusing instead on analytically solving the problem. 

Both sexes start their empathy process in the MNS, but the male brain quickly switches over to the TPJ. 

This is a classic conflict. A woman will tell her man about a problem, wanting emotional support, but if he is unable to solve her problem, he won't see the value of having a lengthy conversation about it.

Mothers and fathers connect with their kids in different ways

Mothers comfort, nurture, encourage, reinforce, and coddle.

Fathers rough-house, challenge, tease, and stimulate through unpredictability.

Think of it like two sides of the same coin: the mother offers stability and security while the father is there to challenge the child, prepping them for the harshness of the real world. 

A perfect example of this is a study of toddlers in a swimming class. It was observed that fathers were more likely to stand behind their children so that the children face the water while mothers stood in front of the children and made eye contact. 

The bottom line is two parents are better than one because they complement each other.

Two Final thoughts:

Different doesn’t mean defective. She isn’t less or inferior because she’s different from you.

You married your opposite! She’s good at the stuff you’re not good at. Quit fighting and praise God for it.

DEE” THREE’S

Three things every man needs on a regular basis: Kick in the ass, Pat on the back, and Arm around shoulder

One Small Step for Men….

Hard times create strong men, Strong men create good times, Good times create weak men, Weak men create hard times.