#9- Let Me Tell You What it’s Like to be a man
“The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation” is a famous quote by Henry David Thoreau that I’ve used hundreds of times when trying to explain what it’s like to be a man in the 21st century.
Country music singer Darius Rucker and Rapper Dax put a musical spin on Thoreau’s observation.
“To Be A Man”
I can't hide myself, I don't expect you to understand
I just hope I can explain what it's like to be a man
It's a lonely road, and they don't care 'bout what you know
It's not 'bout how you feel, but what you provide inside that home
How did we get here?
This didn’t start overnight. It’s the result of decades of attacks in the media. TV sitcoms show Dad’s as lazy and clueless. They don’t make time for their kids, they don’t help around the house and they make unromantic moves on their wives.
A side-note, these “inept” dads somehow make enough money so their wives could stay at home but that’s never pointed out.
While grown men are being ridiculed, normal boy behaviors like playing cowboys and indians or rough-housing are tagged as "problematic”. Then girls' behaviour is declared the gold standard and used to evaluate boys. The report card declared boys are defective girls who need fixing. Most of the time the solution is drugs, instead of giving them constructive outlets for their boyness. For example, bring back recess instead of expecting an 8-year old boy to sit at a desk all day.
The final insult was the media allowed radical feminists to frame the debate. There’s no risk because attacking men is safe and good for business, anti-men content gets more clicks than a mature, reasonable discussion. We’ve gotten to the point where a woman can say almost anything negative about men without worrying about negative backlash.
The end result is a massive erosion in the way we think of and talk about boys and men. Some people thought men were being too sensitive when they brought this up, but now we see there have been real-world, unintended consequences. Large numbers of men are giving up and living out what Therou wrote back in the 1800’s
Inconvenient Truths
A lot of people talk about how useless men are, until they need…..
Military – 95% men
Firefighters – 97% men
Welders – 94% men
Coal miners – 95% men
Oil rig workers – 96% men
Truck drivers – 90% men
Construction workers – 92% men
Loggers – 95% men
Roofers – 97% men
Brick masons – 96% men
Fishermen – 97% men
You can take it to the bank, nobody thinks men are worthless when their house is on fire.
We Can’t Stay Quiet
The longer men stay quiet about this, the more we allow the loud minority to set the tone of the conversation which reduces our chance to reverse course.
But that’s not me. I refuse to let a group of angry, bitter, resentful people tell me I’m not useful or needed for the good of society. That’s one of the reasons I write this blog and work to train men who are worth defending. I’m asking you to share it with everyone you know.
The Question of the Day
When does this change?
Men are designed and built to do stuff, take on challenges and put themselves to the test. When do boys and men get a chance to do something they can be proud of?
The world better figure this out sooner rather than later or we’re going to wake up to a world where there’s no men to call when the shit hits the fan.
One Small Step for Men……….
employ your time in improving yourself by other men's writings, so that you shall gain easily what others have labored hard for -socrates